LoveShack.org

I loved Candle's review. I'm proud to admit I used the report post button many times. The reason why the moderators were very "strict" is because of all the abuse going on in the forum. When the new moderators started going to work, there was a lot of flaming, trolling, and cyberbullying. People would insult each other. I've saw one troll intimidate his victim by starting an account pretending to be the victim's mother. I also remember how one woman looking for advice became upset when a vigilante accused her of being a troll. I've also seen people get mobbed.

Kudos to the moderators for cleaning that place up. They decided to center the forum around people looking for advice and support instead of the Jerry Springer crowd that treated the website as a place of entertainment. The last things people going through difficult times need are to be harassed and ridiculed. I didn't give the forum five stars because people in position to give great advice don't go to relationship forums to give advice because they're too busy with their significant others.

Through a simple system of reporting posts for flaming, rude posts, and trolling, the moderators started weeding out all the undesirables. If you want to laugh at people's expense and harass people through the safety of your computer screen, you can go to all the forums that allow people to harass each other. Sorry, but I don't think it's funny when someone talks about castrating the OP of a thread or ridiculing an OP by intentionally giving crude, bad advice like groping his crush.

The moderators were trying to protect the most vulnerable people in the forum I'm going to end my review with my favorite phrase whenever I saw a rude or inappropriate post from a keyboard warrior.

Report Post

Kind of bummed I didn't think to save some of my better posts, but I didn't think the site would just vanish the way it has.

I enjoyed connecting with a few people on the forum after I joined during the summer of 2015. I was still reeling from some heartbreak, so reading the accounts of others going through similar situations was comforting in a way. While my own heartbreak became more of a memory than a daily thing to deal with, I stuck around the forums and became a regular contributor.

It was a nice feeling to know others found some value in my posts, as I would often get private messages from people letting me know as much. I don't think the mods agreed, though, as I was the recipient of more than a handful of moderator-imposed posting limitations.

I began to drift away from the forum late last year, in part because I grew frustrated with how often my posts were edited or outright deleted by moderators. I understand the need to maintain civil discourse, but it often felt like the mod team took that aspect far too seriously, often shielding anyone from well-meaning tough love.

The final straw for me was having a post deleted and my posting privileges restricted for a week without any sort of explanation from the mods. Having your posts go through a mod filter and then often appearing a half day later when the conversation had moved well past the talking point made contributing a pointless exercise.

If this really is the end of the forum, then I'm grateful it served as something of a sanctuary for me during those early days and allowed me to maybe help or amuse others in the years that followed. Still, the sanctions imposed by the mods made the place increasingly difficult to contribute to, and I feel like maybe it's best to move on for good, even if the forums do return.

What started out as a relatively positive experience was quickly soured by mods who arbitrarily delete posts and issue "Friendly Reminders", which are essentially a soft ban that requires the person's posts to be approved by a moderator for a specified number of days, without any explanation as to why or what the "violation" was. When you observe the moderator edits to other posts it is clear that they regularly edit and delete posts they personally disagree with. I discussed this issue with several long-time members of the site who confirmed that it is a chronic issue that they have experienced varying levels of frustration with over the years.

I expressed concerns about the site being a place of censorship when Paul, the owner, made an announcement that they were removing one of the reaction options and those concerns were actualized by the site's moderators.

Additionally, there is a fringe group of very jaded women who attack and discredit the advice that some men, like myself and others, gave to other men when it comes to dating. Advising members of my own gender on how to be more confident, build chemistry, and make more meaningful connections with women is bashed and discredited as "Pick Up Artist" advice by this particular group of women. One such woman said that inviting a woman out to dinner for a first date instead of the default "coffee date" was nothing more than a manipulative "technique" to pressure women into dates they felt obligated to go on with the purpose of getting them drunk and taking advantage of them. Unbelievable.

There is also a considerable Groupthink phenomenon running rampant on LS. It is the blind leading the blind on that site, with people giving terrible advice that doesn't work and only perpetuates the same dating woes that lead to them giving the terrible advice in the first place. One such person said that 80% of her first dates - primarily to coffee shops - never lead to a second date, which is why she went on coffee dates in the first place and also why she said she "doesn't bother to build chemistry". It was circular reasoning at its finest, but people liked the advice, agreed with it, and bashed the advice that actually works or that exposed the flaws in that kind of thinking. These are people who have little to no interest in actual personal growth or self-improvement and clearly just want to stay stuck and justify their own flawed ways of doing things that repeatedly lead to failure so that they can continue to set themselves up for more of it.

Taken collectively, this is one of the worst forums of any kind that I've ever participated on and I won't be returning.

Longtime member here and a controversial one at that lol... I miss the people, although knew the site would go down one way or the other due to lack of interest and major partiality from some of the mods. Some were forced to walk on eggshells, per se, because it felt like every word was being monitored and critiqued.

At one time most of the sections/forums were really fast paced, but about a year after Tony left it got really weird and most of the forums hardly moved at all. Moderation seemed to be acting on their mood that day or week- good mood meant everyone could speak freely, bad mood meant everyone was banned. I noticed major partiality, meaning various mods would let the people they liked slide and those with the same beliefs always got a free pass. Anyway, the extremism concerning moderation, not moderating those who really needed it (the extremely rude, crude and socially unacceptable) and constant moderation with those really trying to keep with the VERY confining unusual 'rules'.

What really irritated me the most was the 'off topic' moderations. Wow they were completely overboard with this one... many, many great conversations were ruined and God forbid you deviated slightly from the topic and it was a bad day for the mod on duty, you were banned... unfortunately most felt oppressed and when that was communicated by the members, they were told that it's a big internet out there.

To note, my review says 'average', but I think most of the members were beyond exceptional and I did hear rumors that the reason the site is down is due to the passing of the owner/operator. No one is really sure though and I hope this is not the case.

I know my 'review' sounds more like a rant, and it is, but want to say I learned a lot over the years from the members. I wish the very best for all of the members and hope all is well

For those defending this forum-loveshack.org may be only good for a middle-aged white-American heterosexual, who is divorced or has had a string of failed relationships. This forum isnt up to date for millennials, people of color, lgbtq people, single people, professionals, or people who are trying to be more successful. How many people in healthy and happy relationships post on loveshack.org? Not very many. I did post on loveshack during my 20s briefly, but the older posters (who were divorced and cheated on their spouses) ended up being wrong about a number of things. I wouldnt suggest this forum to 20-somethings and 30-somethings looking for good feedback. You have to be a certain type of person to fit in the loveshack environment.

It has been a few years since I last posted on that forum. Now that I am in a healthier place, the forum looks toxic. The real world isnt like loveshack.org.

For those who enjoy the forum and have been on there for a decade, I have noticed that those same posters dont have much of support system in their lives (they have personally admitted it). If you have a good support system as it is, the forum doesnt have much value.

Hi,
I'm Underpants. Posted on that site for many years, and it was good back in the 2000s. I of course got in a little trouble here and there, but then you could argue you case, email the moderator and work it out. This was before Robert/Art Critic (who I used to consider a nice person/friend). Never had a problem with Carhill/William. Neither were moderators in my time. I recall our moderator had a pee wee herman avatar and the name Tony.

I recently logged back in and in the Political thread criticized support of Trump. I found a quote by Robert posting as Art Critic supporting trump. I did quote it and asked why? What is it, given all he has done do you still stand behind this person? I though it a reasonable question that anyone should be able to answer, I was asking the poster Art Critic, not the moderator Robert. I do not see a way to communicate with moderators directly as it used to be. My post was deleted and I was issued some kind of acknowledge your wrong doings to post again (no way to reply, only acknowledge).

I tried to rejoin in April, most of my posts were edited with content removed and edited, which altered the context of my posts and had other posters inquire if I was okay.

My last attempt felt safe, a gardening thread, sharing gardening tips and how to grow our own food in a pandemic (did not use scary pandemic word). Just sharing tips. Again, my posts were modified and I was issued an "acknowledge to post" warning with no way to ask... what?

So I logged out and good luck.

There was a movement a few years ago (2015?) for Lovecrowd, by long term banned members, but I do not see it available any longer.

I just worry that without deleting my account the moderators can just make up words, as they already do, and I have no control. No option to delete my account.

Sad, used to be a cool place.