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If you all venture off to another forum, let me know!

asked by Lexi b. on 4/23/18

11 Answers

Yes, there is an invite-only "other forum". A few points of note:

- The forum that Paul P. Mentioned was started because LS posters who were active on the off-topic thread at that time were *specifically* requested by moderation to leave and continue their casual chatter elsewhere. So they left and continued their casual chatter elsewhere, as requested.

- Anyone who thinks that people are spending THAT much time talking about them or trying to dig out "private" information about them are flattering themselves. Honestly. Most people have better things to do.

- The main reason this forum is invite-only is, contrary to popular belief, for pragmatic purposes. It lowers hosting costs, people feel safer posting personal information, and it almost removes the need for any time spent on moderation.

- I am not sure why this is such a point of contention. There are hundreds of thousands of closed forums and groups (e.g. On Facebook). What is the issue with this particular one?

Helpful (8)

I've not seen another forum like LS, and it would be great if an identical twin were to rise from the ashes, perhaps with a fairer, more even-handed approach to moderation.

There are other forums around, one of them is by invite and hosts many former and present LSers. I know because I was a member and find it a bit strange at this point to pretend it doesn't exist.
Anyway, they're a close group of friends with a largely very similar outlook on things, and they get to choose who joins them, which is totally fair enough.

They have clashes with other posters (nothing out of the ordinary, all fora have their cliques and their bullies) but at least I left of my own accord - I wasn't kicked out or randomly banned. By contrast, my LS account was temporarily restricted for more than a year without any prior restrictions and no return in sight for ONE contentious post.

A mix of these 2 sites (freedom to say what you like, to leave and have all your posts deleted whenever you like, open to all, with a fair and open moderation system where all topics are fair subjects of debate) would be perfect. I don't have the first clue about creating a site like that sadly or I'd have done it. Hoping someone does, though...

Helpful (4)

Tara M. I wondered where you got off to. I was actually seeking your post on LS for a while. You always had good post, in my opinion. I do miss the familiar posters, and thankfully never had any bad encounters with anyone on LS. I too am seeking a website for discussions similar to the LS site. It takes some time to get comfortable with posting and so I understand how it might seem odd for people to stick around on a site for years, but on that same note, I do understand sticking around for years.

Helpful (1)

There is an offshoot website, as Emily says. It started out as a result of strict rules being brought in on LS against off topic chat. Inevitably there was $#*!ing about LS on it. Anybody known or thought to post on it would receive personal attacks in William's PMs to them... so that fuelled existing ill feeling, as did the increase in bannings.

The main reason DF is closed and invitation only is because that keeps it self moderating. Nobody there wants, or has, to take on an authoritarian role - which makes it easier to have a playful vibe and nonsense discussions as well as serious ones. It's just a question of members being tolerant of eachother and not setting down their own strict behavioural expectations that they require others to meet. It's not possible to have that on a site that's open to anybody who wants to post on it. As soon as a site's open to trolls and spammers, the need for moderation increases... but strict moderation tends to kill/inhibit discussion. Which defeats the purpose of a discussion site.

Once you have a forum that works well, you don't necessarily want a large group of people from a suddenly defunct forum coming in and completely changing the dynamic, increasing the need for stricter moderation etc. That's probably why suggestions about other forums are being down-voted.

If anybody does want to set up a site similar to LS, I'm sure some of the posters at DF would be happy to contribute to discussion in the early stages, to help build up traffic - though given some of the comments about us, that might feel like the equivalent of William offering his moderation services to DF.

I just think it would be very difficult to set up a successful forum without a core community of people. Unless you have a very charismatic and well connected individual at the centre of it (like Tucker Max, who ran his own forum for a number of years) I think message boards tend to be owned by everybody and nobody... and often fail as a result of power struggles setting in.

Helpful (1)

Rumor has it there already is another invite-only site with many LS regulars. I was told their main past-time was to trash-talk LS members behind their backs while simultanuously giving them advice on LS. Apparently their fave past-time was to track down the real names / personal info of LS posters. Forgot the name of the site (the divergent, or something like that) but may be worth asking round if you wanted to track old LSers?

Helpful (1)

Unfortunately l lost a few LS contacts with it disappearing, which is why l came to this link after a friend from there told me about it.
Ls there any way to find a few people you were emailing with on the site?
Don't really wanna put my email in here.

Helpful (0)

Loveshack did originate as a site for advice, communication, and connection to people one might not otherwise encounter. It offered perspectives that people may not have been exposed to otherwise. Until moderation went from merely preventing abuse to a dictatorship run by an evil weasel who was hellbent on using the minimal amount of power he was afforded to ensure that anyone who dared to disagree with him was banned regardless of their good intentions.

If the rumors are true about offshoot websites, perhaps the posters there were merely looking for a place to continue feeling connected to each other.

Helpful (0)

Meh. It isn't the same. I'm so sad loveshack gone :(

Helpful (0)

Well there is a similar active forum ''www.enotalone.com'' but I'm guessing it's also slowly dying unless us old LSers find shelter there.

If anything, good question and I'd gladly follow some of you.

Helpful (0)

Enotalone looks to be the most similar

Helpful (-2)

I see people at Talk About Marriage.

Helpful (-3)

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