MelanieToniaEvans

If you buy Narp its because you are sick of not been able to get over an abusive relationship/s sometimes many years later. This was my case so I gave it a go. It worked and I'm still using the methods and guidelines and also avoiding toxic people. It is a way forward to the future and not the past. You are given the tools to recover then the rest is up to you, there is ongoing support in the program also. It's not always easy but its better than been haunted by your X and blaming the world for your problems. You are the only one responsible for your life no mater how unjust it can be. It can be an inconvenient truth. Its a great wake up call :)

I have found parts of Melanie's program to be interesting in that she asked the correct fundamental questions in a way that any therapist I have seen has not been able to. I have not found the program to be particularly helpful after more than 3 months of use. However, I enjoy reading through threads on her member site and gaining insight, inspiration and simply knowing that I am not alone in the struggle.

Hey all,

I purchased the NARP program in April (I think) and then joined the forum a little while later for further support. I was doing the modules daily, and was finding myself stuck in an emotional state that was concerning (I have a history of severe abuse and mental illness and am recovering from a brain injury that was the result of a suicide attempt.) Melanie very kindly suggested that the forum members might have some insight in how to work through these scary feelings. As I had been very stable for a long time, and even remitted from depression, etc, and also have been in trauma therapy with a licensed therapist- I thought it might be good to address a possible spiritual element to my trauma.
I kept feeling worse and worse. I posted a lot in the forum asking for help, and I certainly had some lovely and helpful interactions with some of the women. I did find that a few of them will take a very lecturing tone if a poster strays into topics that they feel are not in keeping with the forum rules. I understand why this is. I can also see why this could be a negative experience for some, too.
Anyway I continued to worsen and the modules seemed to bring me into what several people have described to me as dark nights of the soul...
I am naturally skeptical and a fan of critical thinking and I made a concerted effort to suspend my disbelief to work with these modules, but achieved no relief. I became frustrated with myself and posted on the forum that I felt perhaps I was too damaged, and since this program is advertised and discussed as really effective for most people, I became scared. Here was more proof to me that I am unhelpable and a freak. I suggested on the forum that maybe I should stop working with the modules and I woke up the next day to being banned and refunded. I sent a polite query to Support and received and equally polite yet terse reply that Id offered no other choice but to be banned as I had become combative. I responded to that email with only a polite, careful assertion that I had not been combative. Frustrated, sure. With myself. I had not become in any way threatening or abusive toward anyone on that forum, and I think this review is a good representation of my overall written tone.
For weeks now I have felt the implications that 1) I am damaged beyond help, and was rejected from the group because of this and 2) that I am abusive and potentially narcissistic too, just like my abusers.
Heres the thing- my skepticism and frustration seemed to elicit an almost hurt feelings response from Support. It was odd and I havent been able to shake the feeling of oddness. Ive been a meditator for a while now, and Ive discussed this with my trauma therapist. Im fully able to accept my participation and miscommunication in this issue, but it was this fundamentalist attitude (and I used the word fundamentalist in my email to Support) that has been tough to fully understand.
I do NOT think anyone in the NARP program is abusive, scamming, or unable to effectively teach these methods. I believe that this program has awesome empowerment for anyone who IS ready for it. And knowing what I know about the human brain, there IS something that seems valid in regard to energy healing on a quantum molecular level. I feel that physics in general as well as neuroscience is headed in a quantum direction and that is exciting!
However, being labeled combative and having no recourse to defend myself or really have any ability to communicate effectively with Support could be a not-good thing for someone in crisis who isnt seeing results and maybe doesnt have a therapist or real life support system in place while pursuing these methods. Luckily for me, I do.
I understand that the NARP forum rules state that this is self-help and as is and the user accepts responsibility but when youre in a weird purgatorial bardo hell state with no end in sight... and Support just kinda boots you for being skeptical and frustrated... it could get ugly.
I moved on and Im finding some release with other theta meditation practices, namely autogenic hypnosis and that seems more effective.
As I said, there are good things here. With everything, though, if its not an exact match, take what works for you and move on.
I see that there are Support responses here for other refunded customers, and this review is not an invitation for my forum posts to be rehashed to keep other potential customers aware of my alleged combativeness. That seems in the vein of punishing people for whom this method didnt work.
I guess, in closing, I would urge the creator of this program to be careful of the fears in so many recovering people that if something doesnt work, its not because that is the BEST or most effective method for healing, and that as long as healing is the individuals focus, they arent doomed to more abuse or inability to achieve their lifes goals. And should they become frustrated and skeptical during the learning process, maybe dont treat them like they are the actual narcissist.
I do appreciate the refund.
I hope everyone has peace, myself included.
Ps- this took some real courage for me to post. Im really proud of myself.

I truly hate it when spiritual guru's get into blaming the victim. "You created the abuse that happened to you" they say. This drives me crazy angry. However, I also get bored and frustrated when nonspiritual coaches helping people heal from abuse spend all their time teaching me about what abuse is, and how it feels to be abused. Listening to hours of YouTube video's about what a Narcissist is does nothing to help me. THEN COMES MEL! This woman does not blame the victim but she also doesn't blame the narcissist. She focuses on what I really need and want. Real healing and deep healing. She uses the phrase "level up" a lot and that is affirming as what she wants is personal growth and a better life with new boundaries and healthy self esteem for everyone. I haven't completed her program yet, but I am excited to get started with it.

The community she has developed in her Forum has some very good moderators. BUT there is one or two who are ABUSIVE to members. It is not a safe place to be. When I spoke up nicely saying, perhaps they wrote what they did as they had their own triggers to deal with, I was temporarily removed from the forum as punishment. This is ABUSIVE behavior. On top of that the Moderators Gaslighted me afterward.

I suggest you buy the Silver Level and stay away from the Forum.

I purchased the Melanie Tonia Evans gold package, which is her NARP program, plus access to the Narp users forum, where one can ask questions about the program/interact with other users and moderators on questions about the program. There are helpful ebooks also provided for reading, and I felt they were written well, but it's the audio modules that really make up the core of NARP.

I'll start with a review of NARP program audio recordings by itself first. While Melanie has not really invented anything new and has only used previously existing modalities/theories (such as Body Wisdom, Inner Child work, Soul contracts, past lives, epigenetics etc.), she has done a good job of bringing them all together to create easy to follow recordings or "modules" of the program. When one is ravaged by decades of Narc abuse, it can be impossible to function, much less read up/investigate on different aspects of healing and bring them together in a coherent way. So just for creating a new "recipe" with old ingredients that is quick and easy (once you get used to it) for shattered, depressed people to use, I give her heartfelt credit and thanks. I found it a good program overall, and her blog posts and YouTube videos formed a helpful adjunct. It's certainly not easy to use, very difficult stuff at the start (I even had physical symptoms which were a little scary but they settled down and went away as promised in the program), but if done right, it can be very revealing. The best thing for me about this program was that I learnt how to converse and soothe my frightened Inner Child, and while I no longer use this program, I now have a way to speak to my Inner Child within seconds. Love this!

I will now come to the bit that I found the most damaging to my well being - the online forum, as well as Melanie's insistent/one track philosophy of using the NARP program every single day and for every difficult emotion, ( it's not the program itself I found dangerous). Any tool is neither good nor bad on it's own, but when used inappropriately, can definitely be harmful. I was lucky to not end up in a psych ward from being targeted by some of the moderators on the forum (in my innocence and desperation, listening to the moderators who told me that I needed to "push through my breakdowns into breakthrough and needed to do the work" and that I must be not using the program right or with enough frequency to be feeling worse and worse, which was ridiculous because I was using the program religiously) and I wish to warn others of this now that I am better and feeling grateful I stopped the program before a complete psychotic breakdown!

The forum is a strictly modulated place, which I can appreciate because there are so many shattered souls carrying a lot of emotional wounds who can easily hurt each other. While asking for help we are asked to follow a Code of Conduct, which essentially is a way to teach ourselves to "reframe" our thoughts. Emphasis is on identifying emotions and moving away from victim mentality, so we can dig out the traumas/hidden beliefs underneath it all. All good so far, I truly liked this part of the forum because I have read up a lot of psychology to try and understand and heal from abuse, and I understood the importance of reframing. I feel this is another good skill I got to practice here while writing to ask for help. It isn't easy to follow the CoC when one is so lost that life loses all meaning, but I don't shy away from hard things if I sense their long term value. If nothing else, use the forum to practice this, it's a good skill for your emotional wellness toolbox!

Unfortunately, the biggest problem with the forum are some of the more active moderators, and by extension, Melanie's approach itself. There is a single moderator on the forum who is a psychotherapist, and she is the exception to this dynamic, she is just AMAZING. A fantastic soul, she selflessly and gently helps people who are emotionally destroyed and come to the forum looking for understanding and help while they navigate the sometimes confusing NARP audio modules. The great thing with this moderator is because she understands human psychology through serious study (and practices it professionally) she knows the power of words on a psychologically battered human being and is never harsh or cruel or abusive, and is the only one qualified to handle the role of moderator on a forum full of so many people who are deeply hurting IMHO.

Sadly, some of the other moderators (especially the more active ones), while well meaning I'm sure, are no where qualified to be on the forum and interact with distraught, frightened people struggling with real trauma and upheaval. An emotionally abused person may sometimes say things in a way that a therapist will understand is not a personal attack but just a deeply confused person trying to ask for help; but put an unqualified person who does not know how to give others the benefit of the doubt and you have some real ego-driven people who lash out at the slightest question of their "moderation authority". Some moderators are downright dangerous if they feel you cross them (say by questioning a decision) and then you are on their "radar" which I found very traumatising. They will then start to nitpick on your posts (which may have been fine for weeks or months before) and will make you rewrite them again and again for "violating the CoC", until you start to lose faith in yourself and blame yourself - as most Narc abused people are already used to thinking abuse is their fault, this a very real possibility that healthier people would not be subject to. I figured later this behaviour on the part of moderators exists because there must have been some really difficult/abusive people on the forum who the moderators may have had previous experience with, but it has caused a few of them to get a hair trigger mentality on even a simply worded question.

Also, Being blind to their own prejudices (there are people from all over the world on this forum, and even a basic knowledge of different cultures will tell you that what is normal for someone may be rude for another), I essentially felt traumatised by a few of the forum moderators, who for some reason decided to pick on me after my one mistake (which I admit was a poorly worded post written while I was sobbing and terrified of how raw I was feeling). After I was pulled up, I ended up feeling frightened to even post, second and third guessing myself until I was weeping with the fear of my own writing being the problem. Why? Because with my history of Narc abuse, I blamed myself even when I shouldn't have. With Non qualified people having been elevated to positions of importance in the forum by Melanie herself, I truly got to experience what the saying "power corrupts" means. Scary.

Melanie does not pay or objectively judge the people selected to be moderators, which is of course a business decision, but a potentially harmful one to her forum users, and was personally devastating to me after months of interacting with no problems on the forum. From what I can now tell, people are selected to be moderators based on their ability to guide others on using the NARP program, but primarily on how much success they achieve with the program and how well they "heal" using NARP. In other words, if you are a Success Story on NARP and don't question Melanie's philosophy that it must be used the same way every day for every single person, then you get to be moderator. On the surface this may seem perfectly logical and harmless, but as I discovered, this is deadly! To select people without proper qualification and to not offer any pay (which means Melanie is dependant on THEIR volunteering, and will therefore not rock the boat because that saves her the extra time to have to moderate the forum herself), is a very dangerous precedent.

These days there is another man in a very powerful position in America who chooses people based on loyalty to him and his ideas, not their qualifications and ability to discharge their duties properly. While Melanie is certainly not Trump, (I truly think with all her blind spots around the forum functioning she wants to help
People), I find it startling that she is blind to the same behaviour patterns in herself when it comes to how she chooses forum moderators. (At least some of them). Just because Ivanka Trump does a job in the White House for free doesn't mean she is any good at it or knows what she is doing!

So here's what you need to know - Just because someone starts out with good intentions, doesn't mean they aren't capable of inflicting actual harm through their actions if put in a position of power over others. Ignorance is as bad as harmful intent when dealing with trauma. I learnt this on the NARP forum. Hard lesson learnt, but one I will never forget.

I narrowly escaped being admitted to hospital over my re traumatisation by moderators (which was horrible because using NARP I had started to feel better and thought I was out of the woods), and I stopped going to the forum completely. Which was sad as I had struck up many friendships with some wonderful members who I miss. But I just don't trust the way that forum is run now, and I refuse to subject myself to people who have the potential to be as abusive as their original abusers.

How am I doing now? It was rough going for a while, but quitting the forum saved me from self destructing. A month after stopping NARP and forum usage cold turkey, I started to feel pieces of my soul coming back. And now on most days I feel joy! NARP users will tell you it's a "delayed effect" of NARP. (That's another cult like phenom I never liked about the forum, attributing everything good that happens to you to NARP. Very black and white IMO). I'm not sure either way, I know the program and talking to other members helped a lot before the moderators decided to nitpick my words. I know the moderators inflicted a lot of damage on my psyche at the end too, partly because I was vulnerable at the time.

Do I still think NARP helped? Yes. I think it has great potential with a BALANCED approach and proper support on the forum by a qualified moderator who understands how to word things in a way that won't further traumatise members. (Sadly peer to peer support is necessary because one runs into many blocks using the program, and hearing from others who deal with the same blocks in NARP is often the only way to not stall). Was the program the only reason I now feel better? Hell, NO! I have been doing Inner work for many years, and NARP was just another step in the journey. Thank God I'm not one of those who believes NARP will solve it all, or I don't think I would have been here today.

In the end, I would recommend the program by itself, though I'm not sure how most people would manage to start using it without peer support on the forum. But watch out for some of the moderators, do NOT fool yourself into thinking they cannot traumatise you without warning. My mistake was in thinking that because they had been abused like me, they would never hurt others and give the benefit of the doubt while moderating. And that I must be the one who did something wrong. I now realise that's just me who thinks that way! Most moderators there are just people like you and me, a mix of good and bad, but if you cross them in any way, run for your Life. Do not let them make you question your own behaviour to the point you start to lose your mind - they are ignorant of their own ego driven actions and will blame you for not doing the work and "attracting behaviour from others because you have false beliefs inside you". When it could easily be that THEY are projecting THEIR unhealed parts onto you. A healthy dose of Victim Blaming, anyone? And Melanie is fiercely protective of her moderators, who are fiercely protective of her. Use the forum carefully and try to keep a low profile, there is one moderator who does not like people to have friendly chats (in his/her words it increases his/her work to have to read friendly chats when moderating, which I can appreciate, but many people on the forum have only the forum members to have meaningful interact with in their lives, so this seemed more about the moderator's comfort than what helps members. Again, this is what happens when you have unpaid moderators!).

I hope you find the healing you are looking for, Life can be so hard for those of us who are abused for years and years to the point we lose the will to go on. Please know I have been where you are, and I am here to tell you, things can get better. Whether you decide to go for NARP or not, please don't give up. I hope my account helps you protect yourself on the forum if you do join, I still think the NARP core program is a good thing if used with caution. Good luck!