Civil Communicator

Civil Communicator's monitored service has been such a blessing! In my case, it was ordered by the court as our third communication tool attempt and has provided much relief from the overload of unnecessary, aggressive, conflict filled communications received using unmonitored tools. The staff and coaches have been wonderful and supportive providing clear direction, expectations, and guidelines. It has helped to teach me in my communication style and has lightened the stress and drama from the other party.

The service is wonderful; offering online coaching, support, feedback, quick response/call times, a shared library for ease of access to documents, and so much more. They offer insight on message content, and advise on revisions to keep communications relevant and on track. They really work to coach both parties in their communications and help to keep high conflict, aggressive messages in check.

CC helps guide both parties toward clear, kind messaging that simply focuses on the needs of the children, protects against manipulation and harassment, and eliminates conflict and toxic back and forth. It has helped me heal, grow, and learn how to communicate in a healthy way. It is well worth the cost and I would highly recommend it to anyone struggling to find a way to communicate.

Tip:
Use the coaches and be coachable. Great tool to keep parties accountable for mature, conflict-free communication. A bargain and a blessing, look no further!

*For those who promote conflict and are not open to coaching, Civil Communicator may be a service met with much opposition, refusal to use, claims of heavy censorship, manipulation to reverse or evade court orders, and possibly even threats to the company (which seem to clarify that it is an essential service).

I was ordered by a judge in family court to use Civil Communicator for all important correspondence between myself and my ex-wife in February, 2019. When I received notice that they had unsuccessfully tried to bill my credit card just a few days ago, I was relieved. During my two-year experience with them, I realized that they far exceed their mandate to monitor and insure civil discourse. They edited both our emails aggressively for content, revising or deleting portions that they felt were uncivil, using their own arbitrary criteria.

Normal, even-tempered communications with my ex-wife were edited to remove all trace of negative emotion, of language that is "directing," "accusing," "hearsay," "assuming," "passive aggressive," "confrontational," "asked and answered," and my personal favorite, "unnecessary!" It got worse over time. At the end of two years, they were editing common phrases people use in polite, but pointed, conversation. I asked them to stick to their mandate, and simply revise or admit portions that were objectionable, rather than applying arbitrary standards to otherwise common and civil conversations.

I started objecting to their removal or revision of large portions of my emails on such flimsy grounds as that my text was "confrontational," "accusing," "asked and answered" or unnecessarily. How do they know which information is already known tonthe othrer party? They should have humitity to acknowledge they don't know everything the other person knows, ang give the author the benefit of the doubt regarding what is important.

My bill from CC did not get paid this year, and based on experience, It probably won't be. They have become an impediment to, rather than a facilitator of, meaningful communication,

There are better communication services. Look around!

Rob McGregor

My coparent posted a 1 star review about this application. I'd like to share my 5 star experience.

CivilCommunicator was implemented in conjunction with an Order of Protection on which I am the protected party. Prior to using CivilCommunicator, we were communicating only through OurFamilyWizard. My coparent could say whatever they wanted to and the only course of action I had was to allow them to harass me or go to court.

Neither party can share their subjective experience with each other through CivilCommunicator, which is perfect, as once two people are divorced, they deserve to have autonomy from each other, even if they share a child in common. My coparent refuses to stop trying to communicate with me regarding events that occurred years ago. In a coparenting relationship where one parent has decided that the other parent is unfit, even though they have agreed to joint custody and their child is thriving, CivilCommunicator is an incredible protection. CivilCommunicator forces each party to handle their own emotional experience without allowing them to lash out at each other.

They have communication guidelines to help move communication between coparents in a positive, future focused direction and they provide a generous amount of coaching opportunity each month. You have the ability to pay for extra if you decide you need it. I used this feature on almost every communication, as I have terrible anxiety regarding my own communications. I do not want to trigger upset feelings within my coparent anymore than I want them to trigger upset feelings in me, but I know I need to communicate with my coparent regarding our child. Their coaching recommendations have created more confidence in myself, as I see ways in which I communicated in the past that may have been miscontrued as confrontational. I myself, the protected party, now communicate more effectively.

Their analytics keep you informed about rejected and revised communications coming from your coparent, so that you are not unaware if your coparent is still trying to harass you.

I believe CivilCommunicator creates a healthy boundary between two divorced adults, while keeping the focus on the best interests of the child.

For many years I have struggled with communicating with my abusive child's father. After leaving him in 2017, we still have issues. We used talking parents at first which was a horrible site that allowed for anything to come through. There were no filtering of messages and it came to a point where I couldn't read any messages from talking parents in fear of what it would do to my day coming from my ex. He tried to get back together a hundred times and begged me to go to counseling with him after I met my future husband. It was exhausting. I had taken him back about 5 times before I decided to leave. I couldn't co parent my child because I couldn't read all the blame, hostility and emotion that was underneath every message that was supposed to be about my son. In turn, it made me angrier and more depressed feeling like I couldn't do anything but to fight back. When I got tired of fighting, I contacted my lawyer and she recommended civil communicator. After getting an order in place with my ex through mediation, I demanded that civil communicator be our new platform of communication. He refused adamantly. He lost control having to be filtered. What a god send this site has been! It is absolutely wonderful that they filter out the bullying, the negative, the hostile and demeaning messages that could come forward. They will reject and revise messages that the other party sends including your own messages that need work as well. They also help you and coach you on how to improve your own communication so that you can be a better co parent for your child. What a gift. There are not a lot of services out there that provide this much support. In any break up where children are involved, you have a ton of emotion. Civil communicator helps you learn to speak in a way that is not layered in that emotion. You have to be open to improving yourself. You have to be open to seeing your own mistakes and where you can improve. I have learned a lot about how to communicate properly using civil communicator and take my emotion out of it. I have piece of mind when I see several rejected messages from my ex that civil communicator protects me from. Everyone that works there are parents with legal expertise. If you are in a situation like mine, and you just want the pain and heartache to stop so that you can co parent your child and live a life of peace, sign up to use them. They are highly regarded by judges as well.