If you are reading this review please accept my condolences because if you didn't already know it - you are already in the first circle of hell, and you are now on the precipice of entering the third.

Allow me to explain: Given that you have found yourself searching for reviews of this site, you have found yourself squarely in the first circle of hell - Divorce. You likely have children which will force you to communicate with an insufferable, narcissistic ex until those children turn 18. I am sorry! I don't want to pull any punches, but I have to inform you that you may actually be in the second circle of hell - the US family court system. If you are here and you have not watched Divorce Corp (free on YouTube) you definitely should to inform your experience while here. Buckle up it is an ugly ride!

It is my sincere hope that this review will save you from entering the third circle of hell - The Civil Communicator Inferno. Unfortunately, I was unable to save myself from this realm - it's not too late for you. I entered into Civil Communicator hell on December 20th of 2021 when I agreed ( based on opposing counsel's recommendation) to utilize this site to communicate with my ex. The site purports to be a communication platform whose goal is to help parents improve their communication skills - I have not found that to be an accurate reflection of their 'service'. They publish their "communication guidelines" which will seem reasonable until you actually attempt to communicate with your co-parent. You will find that the people on the review team interpret and enforce their "guidelines" with a wild and random abandon that will vary to an unimaginable extent. As a result of this, you will be forced to ask for coaching on every communication, just to get your correspondence through their system without receiving a communication demerit. Of course, and by design, this is going to end up costing you more money.

Their review system is truly nightmarish, but it gets worse. On two different occasions, I intended to send communication to my co-parent about what I perceived to be very unethical behavior on the part of his attorney. This unethical behavior was preventing us from reaching a settlement on our outstanding issues. However, instead of sending the correspondence to my co-parent as I intended, they sent the correspondence to his lawyer and NOT my ex. They did not inform me that they had done this, and they definitely did not copy my lawyer on the matter to even attempt to display a modicum of impartiality. Unscrupulously conspiring with opposing council (not coincidently the lawyer that pushed for the use of the service) served to further increase the hostility between all parties. It is not a coincidence that nearly 15 months later we are still litigating the same issue. If you watch the documentary - you will see this is a feature of the system and not a flaw. Civil communicator is a gold star example of the unethical greed that permeates our family court system and serves solely to escalate the conflict and frustration between parties that are already in a difficult situation in the service of financial gain.

So please save yourself from the ghastly hellscape that is Civil Communicator. Had I known then, what I know now, I absolutely would not agree to utilize this service unless it was the last means of communication available on earth and the health and safety of my children depended on its use.

As a current user, I agree with all the negative reviews on this site. Civil Comm has made a tense relationship much worse, they have edited messages to significantly change their meaning and I find the editing random, arbitrary and frustration. Once they fixed a grammaer mistake but replaced it with a typo!

I recommend googling the company - there is VERY little information available. The founder is on linked in and I didn't see any other employees. I wonder if she is just running it all herself? She has a shady background too https://www.leagle.com/decision/*******719a2d*******

If I write anything negative about the app and the transition from TP to my ex, they block it and say it's abusive- but it's not abusive to my ex, the court, etc. it's a criticism of them!

Honestly I feel afraid for my kids using it. Please do not use it!

Everything the other reviews are saying is true. That includes the positive ones. I don't believe the positive reviews are paid as other reviews have claimed. I'm sure they're just the one side that Civil Communicator chose to back that is completely happy with their experience. I don't know if this is always the woman - though that seems to be the case from all of the reviews.

The app asks you to write an armistice while not allowing any mention of the war. It is impossible to have any actual communication, which seems to be what the "happy" side is looking for when choosing this app. My ex confessed to Child Protective Services to attempting to murder our daughter, which CPS says is fine since she's on anti-depressants now. I cannot mention her diagnosis or the attempted murder through this app. They claim its inappropriate, which is against their guidelines.

The app doesn't allow documentation while also demanding documentation to bring up absolutely anything discussed outside the app (including your entire history before using it). So any in person or voice conversations never happened as far as they're concerned.

What you do have in writing can theoretically be attached in a message so that you can bring up something previously discussed. When you try to do so you see that you can only pull up documents loaded into their shared library. When you try to load one of these conversations into their shared library it is refused because "the other party is already aware of this conversation".

There is "coaching" available at the cost of your credits (yes, even for their fee which is higher than other apps, you still don't have unlimited communication with what is essentially your free email with features cut). However all of my coaching tickets are closed without response, including questioning how to get around their catch 22 to reference outside conversations.

Their bias is present throughout as mentioned by other reviews. If my ex says "no" to something, that's the end of the conversation. Any further messages will be rejected with "asked and answered". When I say no, my ex can keep asking as much as she pleases with no interference.

Their own analytics prove their bias. You can see how many messages both sides sent and the app will show how many were accepted, revised*, or rejected. One side will show 100% accepted and the other a split.

*As mentioned in other reviews, my revised messages were often revised to completely change their meanings. Their reviewers would change a "yes" to a "no" - In more words, they probably didn't even realize they were doing it, but that's the trouble with trying to jump into a conversation with zero facts and background. Even though the goal should be to help communication and ease tension, Civil Communicator often creates fights due to their ignorance and terrible review policies.

It quickly got to the point where I ended my subscription and let my Ex know I would no longer be using the app, that zero communication would actually be preferable (and this was her goal, so she should have been happy). Civil Communicator would not let me send this message though I tried multiple times. They labeled it "Inappropriate" and "Unnecessary" (the same tags I got when bringing up my daughter's safety with a woman that confessed to trying to murder her). So when my current subscription runs out we'll be at zero communication, and one side isn't aware. Civil Communicator won't let her be aware.

Update April 2023: my private investigation has found that this site is run from an airplane hanger in Broomfield. Some additional issues uncovered so far: A) the owner of Civil Communicator masquerades as "Lori" (real name: Leslie Breisch) and sometimes misrepresents herself as an attorney (she's isn't) who loves to chat it up and laugh about how people ordered to use this site "hate it and are stuck with us because of a court order!" B) Leslie has lived with with many of the "board members" of this site's parent company "Data Engineering," including their "compliance officer" Brad Rose (who is actually an attorney), who has a wrap sheet that includes multiple DUIs and kidnapping. C) Brad Rose is the incorporator and registered agent of VX Aviation; VX Aviation owned two airplanes – one that now registers to the same address in Palisade where Brad and Leslie live. The second airplane was destroyed in a fatal 2022 accident in Boulder County that killed 4 people in Gold Hill. D) Benjamin Thompson is the incorporator and registered agent of Bluebird Aviation LLC. Bluebird Aviation LLC was the operator of the charter flight that crashed in Boulder in 2022 destroying Brad Rose/VX Aviation's airplane and killing 4 (https://www.cbsnews.com/colorado/news/mystery-shrouds-deadly-weekend-small-plane-crash/.) E) The downed airplane was operating without a valid certificate. F) Leslie has a son who is a pilot and who ran an "aviation tour company" out of their shared hanger in Broomfield, where the servers for Civil Communicator are housed. I would like to know if Civil Communicator is as "compliant" with respect to data privacy as Leslie's other ventures.

Since this review below was posted 2ya, Civil Communicator has removed their Google Maps entry due to similar reviews they could not have removed.

Original Review: They ignore coaching tickets, selectively enforce their "standards", and milk you for every dollar they can under a ludicrously stupid "point system". No refunds, no questions. Has made communication between me and my coparent WORSE, almost immediately.

Update: upon notifying them of this negative review, my account was suspended. Very civil! "CC has been notified that you have posted a negative online review(s) which is in violation of the Terms and Conditions for using the service. At this point, until this matter can be resolved, your account has been suspended."

For future users subject to this harassment:

https://www.congress.gov/bill/114th-congress/house-bill/5111/text

"To prohibit the use of certain clauses in form contracts that restrict
The ability of a consumer to communicate regarding the goods or services
Offered in interstate commerce that were the subject of the contract,
And for other purposes. <>

Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the
United States of America in Congress assembled."

I wish I had known about Civil Communicator (CC) when myself and my kids mother were court ordered to use Talking Parents (TP) for communication regarding our children. The first thing to touch on is the price of CC. It is a little more costly but if you are having to use lawyers, easily hands down, the cost of CC would pay for itself for the year to address communication one time through lawyers. The other party for my case was not willing to use all the features since we signed up for a trial period only because the court order is for TP. I once heard a zebra does not change its stripes which I expect the other party to revert back to her abusive ways which will allow me to present to the court for hopes that CC will be the ordered communication platform. It offers a calendar, financial tracking only (a pay owe sheet) which allows parties to confirm or deny cost of things for the children. There is an unmonitored section if you choose to use it.

CC is great for high conflict cases since the live mediator filters all the messages guiding an appropriate conversation. I wish I could say I was communicating appropriately the entire time prior to CC but I gained lots of insight from the coaching that is given for 2 weeks when you first sign up. CC does not allow for messages/communication after 10 pm nor before 0700 daily. You could write it outside of the allowed times but the message would only go during allowed times. This is extremely helpful for those who have everything connected through their cell phone because you will only get emergency communications outside of allowed times to message. In my case the kids mother would message me late at night knowing my phone would alert me TP there is a new message which became a nuisance just to be irritating.

TP is an unalterable platform for communication but there ARE NO FILTERS. The other party can put whatever they like (I do mean whatever they like) in the app to communicate. If you have an abusive children's mother it will continue through TP. The only benefit from this is you would have unalterable messages which could be used for court to order something like CC and agreements that are documented.

CC offered me a piece of mind and promoted healthy communication. The mediators are not one sided and don't have a "dog in your fight" which means they only want healthy and productive communications. The coaching feedback is invaluable as they help to limit conversation as there is no real reason to communicate daily regarding your children unless they have serious medical/health issues. There is a monthly credit which is 30 monitored communications which means that you potentially could send 1 message per day but you are no longer together so there is no reason to communicate that much in the first place. CC help set boundaries and is vested in the best interest of the children. Results will vary as there is a level of human involvement/error but once the mediators get familiar with you and the other party, they help guide the conversations.

Civil Communicator(CC) has changed my life for the better because of the following reasons:

They provide a filter, protection, and coaching for those being manipulated or gaslit. Creating a space for relief. Giving you a voice. Hearing you out.

In a relationship with children and joint-decision making, you can't always distance yourself enough to be healed from trauma. We had been on https://talkingparents.com for nearly three years. Bullying and intimidation took place through other apps, email, text, child exchanges, the daycares, family, etc. It was a free for all. Physiologically, I'd panic each time I got a message because there was still so much power and control and so little support. The stress was very hard on my body; I began losing hair.

What you're up against is a court system dealing with hundreds of thousands of people, stories, voices, noises, *accusations.* At the end of the day, pointing fingers, true as it may be, is futile. What you need is to be on the offensive to maintain composure and heal one step at a time.

Without safety and predictability, there will always be a fall-out in cooperation. That's how communication works. This is vital. It would push me past my breaking point.

When we ended up back in court, I pushed for CC, until it could be mandated. CC provided reprieve:

"Reprieve re•prieve rĭ-prēv′ - To prevent or suspend the punishment of (someone, especially a convicted criminal)." In high-conflict hostile communication environments, abusers will treat you like a criminal to justify behavior. You need help, distance, space, to get out of the line of fire.

It distanced me a bit; enough. It created accountability. And data analytics to boot. It's been over a year since I began using CC.

I no longer have to face interaction without guidance.
I no longer have to face receiving new messages or replies without the other party's communication first being filtered through a coach.
I no longer feel the panic when I receive communication. I don't feel anything.
I could schedule time with CC and their coaches any time, free of charge to re-understand the rules.
CC has impacted my life for the better.

Tips:
Be Coachable. Early on, I didn't agree with revisions the coaches gave or they felt unfair. I determined to be coachable. Be coachable, it's uncomfortable but not as uncomfortable as doing it alone.

Give Context. Context is king. Use the coaching credits to tell your story in the box below your message. It helps the coach understand where you're coming from. They are there to help - this is what you're paying for. Advocate for yourself when you disagree.

Listen & Learn. They not only help you edit your message, they give instruction like, "Try to avoid hearsay statements. Hearsay is considered anything that someone else tells you, other than the person to whom you are speaking. We follow court rules regarding hearsay."

Take Notes. This will save you time. Consider, when you get a response with coaching, where else you've struggled in communication in life and how else you can apply this information to be more direct and less ridiculous. Take notes when they call you with the rules.

Be patient: The coaches are human too. With any communication, there will be miscommunication or misunderstanding. Work on your relationship with your coach. Exercise grace & find that you receive it.

I had high hopes for this system. My husband and his ex have very poor communication, and it creates a lot of tension. Unfortunately, this very pricey system was a waste of money and actually made the situation worse.

Civilcommunicator.com claims it will remove conflict from communication and provide a list of guidelines to follow, including that communications should be brief, not include hearsay, not include confrontation, and not be repetitive. Unfortunately, a human reviews the communications which inserts a level of human error, and as a result, civilcommunicator.com does not implement their guidelines consistently. Worse, it seems fairly clear that there is a gender bias against men. Additionally, the communication you try to send is often changed and the entire meaning of the message is changed by their "corrections." Finally, because of the monitoring, actually worthwhile communication is sometimes stifled, and it is impossible for the parents to get better at communicating because of it.

I say that there is a gender bias because the guidelines are clearly not being enforced on my husband's ex. She writes lengthy communications, she includes statements about what the children have said (hearsay), she sends multiple messages on the same topic (repetitive), and she often comes across as confrontational. Her communications are clearly not monitored in the same way my husband's are. For example, in one instance, we had included a statement about what my step-daughter had said, which was removed as hearsay. In the ex's response, she apparently had the same information and included what my step-daughter said in her response. Apparently it was fine for her to include hearsay, but not my husband. There are many instances of this type of lopsided enforcement. We've consistently asked the review team to enforce the guidelines consistently, but they always have an excuse as to why her communications are allowed, despite violating the guidelines. Whether it is gender bias or not, the system is worthless because their guidelines are not enforced at least on one party.

Further, the communications are changed without your acceptance, unless of course you pay a great deal of additional money. I find this absurd. It would be okay if the main point were kept, but they attempt to remove what they consider irrelevant or confrontational sentences. In doing so, they often change the meaning of messages or cause them to make no sense. For example, my husband attempted to send a message that said basically "I disagree, but I don't want to argue with you, so please just proceed." The review team changed the message to "I disagree, so please just proceed." Clearly, this makes no sense, and it created a bunch of issues.

As a result of this poorly run system, my husband communicates the bare minimum with his ex now, which has stifled much worthwhile communication and has made it impossible for either of them to get better at communicating.

I would absolutely never recommend this system to anyone.