Sydney B.

PSA-Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT buy this fart spray for your child. I bought this at five below as a stocking stuffer for my cousin Joey, but decided to give it to him today. In all honesty, the disgusting side of me was so curious about what it smelled like and really didn't want to wait til' Christmas. Big mistake. BIG MISTAKE. Joey was excited to get this vomit-inducing demon spray, and I told him to just do a tiny squirt. Ha, wtf was I thinking a 9 yr old was gonna do with this?! I swear he summoned the strength of Thanos, and half the bottle of this death juice was emitted all over the friggin living room, and unfortunately, on me as well. There is a 5 second calm before your nostrils get assaulted. Then BOOM! I don't even know how to describe the repulsiveness of this $#*!. I'm not sure what kind of farts are supposed to smell like this, but whoever created this needs to see a gastroenterologist STAT. I guess you could compare it to a rotten carcass in the middle of August, covered in Parmesan cheese and curdled milk. Anyways, we both start gagging uncontrollably. After about 10 minutes of this insanity, me scrubbing off 3 layers of skin, and the rest of my apple scented concentrated room spray was used, there is still a hint of this Satan spray left. Now it just smells like $#*! covered apples, "crapples" if you will. So just a heads up, spare yourself this bs and buy your kids ANYTHING besides this.

Normal day, right? We went to our local mall to go shopping because my paycheck finally came in. So we went and explored all the shops, until we came across a store that looked like a Hot Topic spinoff. SPENCERS. We decided to go inside because my goth cousin loves emo $#*! like platform boots and ripped jeans, all the basics. So I was going to get her something. We went into the store, and it was the last thing we expected. There was too much nudity and sexual stuff in there, and they didn't even have a sign that said "NO KIDS ALOUD". We quickly tried to hurry out of the store, until my little sister, Melissa, who is 8 years old, picked up a seemingly innocent mug. She turned it around to face her, screamed, and then dropped it, shattering the mug. She then fled from the store, and I had to go looking for her with my bf before an employee saw the shattered mug. After 16 minutes of searching, we finally found her have a mental breakdown in the mall bathroom because she forgot to take her OCD and ADHD meds. When we went home, I had to explain to my mother why she was traumatized and had a mental breakdown, and my mother flipped out and immediately took her to urgent care. It turns out, she was diagnosed with chronic dry eye, autism, and post traumatic stress disorder. And this is ALL. SPENCERS. FAULT.