Big Dawg Kim B.

The first part of your intro makes it seem like this essay is an argument about pseudoscience in general. You don't mention crystal healing until 3/4 of the way through that paragraph. I love that you're citing when you summarize from sources, but try your best to fully introduce your sources the first time you mention them. Your audience needs to know the author[s] full name[s] and the title of the work you're summarizing from. Your intro lacks an enthymeme, which was a requirement. MLA doesn't use subsections like you're using. APA uses subsections. You can use APA if you'd prefer, but if you choose a different style, you have to stick to that style 100%. That means all formatting will change, heading, cover page, citations, works cited, etc. Some of your paragraphs are unfocused. Using subsections does to replace the need for focused topic sentences and paragraphs. Remember, each paragraph should have a specific topic sentence, and if the paragraph moves away from that topic, even slightly, you begin a new paragraph. This was the teachers comments.

Great