Not AloneReviews 27

Now that some time has passed, I know I rated them too generously, giving the benefit of the doubt. What actually occurred was cyberbullying, though I did not realize this could happen to adults. The way they treated a depressed and vulnerable person would be considered clinically unethical by any sane counsellor or psychiatrist. This sort of treatment is what drives teenagers to self harm. If you have gone to the site and came across Wiseguy2 or whatever his name is, or other adult bullies, don't listen to anything they said. They are sociopaths. Talk to a friend and get some real support, or talk to me here :)

I was posting on a year old post, when I got a warning for "posting on a year old post" I contacted kamurj, and he said that it was a rule. I looked at the rules, and there was no such thing. I told kamurj about this, and kamurj proceeded to ban me for "trolling" all I did was ask him to remove the warning. Kamju Perma banned me. This place was so helpful, but now I'm crying, because all I wanted was to talk to some strangers and be supported. Now I can't even do that. -******* out of 5 stars if I could. Used to be my favorite. Now it's not.

Terrible forum. Full of holier than thou people who likely judge you when you just want help and advice. So far we all are human, no one can claim they never made a mistake but on here they will judge you faster and harder than god. At the end, you will feel even more alone. Stay away unless you want to feel even worse.

Was nice to post dating views there till they removed my last comment. They lied said I was being rude. It is free speech to make comments. Our country is bent on liberal bias and censorship based on Soviet style trained big tech losers.

If you're feeling down and hurting due to your personal relationship… don't come here, they will attack you under the guise of "trying to be helpful". HollyJ is one of the most toxic common users. They'll rip to shreds and make you feel like you're wrong for having a human experience. If you want to feel even more alone, come to this toxic site for support

First of all i'm so offended by the fact that it's all goody goody until you get to your problem or you just want to share an experience, I was sharing one of the most heart breaking love experiences of my life and they were helpful but then I kept going and shared some more and then all of a sudden there asking me if I have anything better than to whine and complain, and even after this one person said I was making thing's up and trolling a user named "Wiseman" i dont know the rest but that the main of the username. Then someone locked my topic's and then I asked for advice to help me stop some of my bad behavior's and they were bashing me about having to many unrealistic problems and the same user kept saying that one of my behavior's was lying and telling everyone something that wasn't true I stood up for myself and the next day IM BANNED. This community is so unhelpful with new user's like me and such hypocrites never go on this website because they're so full of crap.

I posted ONE contentious post and got given 10 'points' (?) AND a permanent ban for NO REASON WHATSOEVER (pic attached) other than 'trolling'. Luckily I have actual friends and family to go to for support and advice so I'm not alone myself, but between Loveshack.org, The Diversion Forum and enotalone.com (as dreadful as each other), I wonder where those who do need a kind, supportive, non judgemental ear go to online; especially those who feel a little 'different' and / or do not want to (or can't) conform to 'social norms'. Who on Earth will finally come up with the inclusive, warm, respectful and mutually accountable chat forum everyone wants? I'd do it if I had any technical / IT skills, except I don't. Does anyone know someone who can help me set a chat forum up? (No labels, no inane videos, no 'psychology' tips, no arbitrary mod, no pics, no weight shaming, no 'learning disabilities' shaming, no 'slut' shaming, no Alphamales, no infidelity or sex talks, no 'categories - just a few random ideas from the top of my head :) )
Thanks in advance! Advice from me: stay away from this one - not worth your time!

UPDATE:

It's been a while since i've been on a forum, in a chat room or anything social online. I must say, it's such a breath of fresh air. My hope is to encourage someone reading this after a bad experience with online communities that you have all the power within to comfort and encourage yourself. Most online communities are toxic because there's a power struggle, a clash of values, and just immature people that hide behind a screen. It made me think about how we communicate in modern times, and while I am all for technology and online interactions, I believe that we must be as selective as we are in our daily lives.

You have the power to encourage yourself and to form real relationships with people who are healthy and will add value to your life. Most of the people that create clique groups online and engage in cyber bullying are broken people. They do not have a sense of control in their lives, so they form these groups to feel they belong somewhere.

Remember, we are all whole people. We don't need anyone to complete us. So from now on, I decided to seek out healthy and wholesome people - individuals - who are not competitive, lacking home training and integrity.
These online groups cannot replace real friendships and while making new friends takes time, you are whole and complete RIGHT NOW!

This is how we overcome toxicity and cyberbullying. But not relying on these "resources" to soothe and comfort us but standing on our own two feet until we find healthy and real interactions.

I hope this comforts someone. Cheers!

******
I'm not surprised at how low the ratings are for this website.

Stay away at all cost. This website is full of trolls and corrupt administration/mods.

They have clique groups, and mob groups that attack you if you speak your mind, defend yourself or go against what the common herd is doing.

If you are healthy, mature and a person who is seeking those that are like minded, don't join. They also don't delete accounts and there's no way to delete mistakes or posts.

I hope this helps someone!

If you feel that members of this site have or are currently harassing you and you tell them to stop they should stop. Even if they feel justified. If they keep posting and making you feel harassed after you have asked them to stop that is cyberbullying or online harassment.

Enotalone is in NY state. If you feel that the members of this site bullied you or continue to bully you, know that Enotalone can be held responsible for facilitating bullying. They shut out and ban members who complain about these people, but the documented bullies remain.

If you or someone you know has had detrimental mental health effects from the bullying on this site then you should know that it is not ok.

Also know that while these people feel safe behind their screens many of the documented bullies live in NY state or other places in the US where there are protections against this type of onlien behavior. They are not as anon as they think. You can file a john doe suite if you suffered or if someone has harmed themselves. You may file against this forum to uncover their personal information.

I hope that this has been helpful. However, it is probably best to avoid this forumn all together.

I was curious about a situation with a man that seemed a little odd. I wanted a different perspective so I created a post in their Dating forum. Not long after I posted, one of their regulars pounced, saying I was making excuses for men and that he wasn't interested in me. I felt like they commented without reading or understanding the post. I got loads of similar comments. Like most of the other reviewers posted, lots of blaming and judging. Out of about 20 replies maybe 2 were reasonable.

After the second judgemental reply, I decided to just troll them back. I said how hot I was, and not out of shape. That really got them going. I got called arrogant and all sorts of things like I expected.

By this time I realized I can't delete my account, so I just used profanity and was super rude to a couple of them. Just like clockwork, I got banned. They deleted the post. Problem resolved.

I found if you just use another IP address and browser, you can easily get back to the site. I found no use for going back now. Just a waste of time. I found more useful info on Quora and other sites.

I've read ENA off and on since either 2008 or 2009, even back then there were some incredible posters who gave such wise, thoughtful and kind advice.
I've read these reviews with the 1 stars, complaining about Holly and JMan... those two have consistently been some of my favorite commentators! They are not rude, mean or bullying anyone, they simply tell it how it is, and have different styles.

JMan is eloquent, yet not too wordy, and always gets to the point of the problem. He frequently brings up a perspective that should have been obvious, but no one else thought to point out. His advice is often worth it's weight in gold. I find it fascinating anyone could ever be offended by him, however truth itself seems to be offensive these days.

And Holly is able to give the most remarkably concise comments/answers. She asks the pertinent questions, and yes, asking someone why their standards are so low is something important for them to consider. Telling them they should probably get tested, is tough but truthful. Complaints about her (and JMan) come across as frivolous or done by Snowflakes. I've seen her go out of her way to try to understand an issue many times.

Anyway, its a great site, if anything it can be too addictive unfortunately.

While there are a handful of posters who frequent this site that are able to deliver opinions, recommendations, and overall help in a constructive way, there is a sub-set of users who are in some sort of cohort that is dedicated to being abusive and feed off of each other to further motivate this bullying behavior. One poster that stands out is Hollyj - this individual is consistently called out on enotalone as well as other review platforms as someone who uses judgemental and abrasive behavior to alienate posters who come to the site for help or insight on what is typically a difficult or negative time in their life. This poster is obviously dreadfully unhappy in their personal life and uses this forum as an outlet for their misery. They punctuate their verbal assault with "please seek therapy!" when it is painfully clear that someone who trolls the board and become increasingly agitated when someone calls them out is in serious need to counselling. The "moderators" are either uninterested or unable to control the board and allow this person to act out. I understand the Kamurj is not a professional and simply a volunteer who has an abundance of free time to dedicate to this forum, there is a complete lack of control over the moderation.
The advice I have to anyone thinking of posting a problem or question to this forum is this – take advantage of the blocking function and immediately block Hollyj as well as anyone else who hides behind the "I just tell it like it is" disclaimer as soon as someone calls them out for their harassment. Also, please remember that these individuals who have thousands of posts (their post number is listed under their name) are not professionals – they are simply people who have limitless time to troll the forum. I would have a large amount of wariness taking advice from anyone who spends the majority of their lives in advice forums versus having an actual life to live themselves.

People come on this site looking for support and all they get is judgement. Alot of the time its unwarnted and nasty for no reason. There are some nice people on here but there are also some sad cases like jman and hollyj to name a few who have nothing nice to say about anybody and they must think they are above everyone and never put a foot wrong themselves to be able to sit in judgement of anyone else who dares open up about their personal problems looking for support. Well dont come to this site with people like this on it you will only come away feeling worse. Better off speaking to a supportive friend because alot of people on the site only want to pick fault with anything you say to use against you.
I do wonder how people like this jman has come to beleive he can sit in judgement of everybody else like he is the most integral person alive. Hes a horrible excuse for a person, doesnt have a nice word to say about anybody ever! Awful bitter little man. So judgemental. Just reading a comment on someones post and this hollyj has to dig the knife in: in one of her posts sge tells someone to Get tested! Then dum this clown, and ask yourself why your expectations are so low"

Shes so self righteous, has to make nasty little un called for comment like this at the end just to have a dig. Thats her all over. Always subtle belittling of people.

This site is not for those who want someone to agree with everything they have to say. This site is for those who want honest opinions and can handle hearing the truth on why their life is going as badly as it is.
Much like many therapies, you have to be willing to hear your downfalls before you can heal and this is what a lot of the advice on Enotalone is based around. For those willing to hear harsh truths, it can heal and you can start moving in the right direction (but only if you're willing). I am reading these reviews and I don't agree with them. The main writers on this site aren't there to baby they will put a mirror up to you and sometimes a person really needs that to get out of the terrible situation they are in. I got a lot of help here when I desperately need it. I am glad they were as honest as they were because nothing else was working and I kept remaining in a very bad situation. Thank you for this site! It will help if you're willing to be open to actual advice from all sorts of different points of view.

This site is nothing but a virtual coliseum where you are thrown to the center of an arena and have to endure the beasts of judgement, victim shame and negativity. With the exception of a few people that still show some decency and compassion, most people there have unilateral, biased views, and are very hasty judging strangers based solely on the "tip of the iceberg" they are allowed to see through the stories that are posted. It gives the impression they are on the site just to externalize their frustrations. People go there because they are in a state of emotional fragility, but are stripped naked by the community and left even worse than they arrived. If you are prone to depression and have suicidal ideation, then you really need to stay away.

I don't wish the experience I had there to anyone. I don't even have words to describe how defeated I felt. In the current moment of the world, with so many people feeling vulnerable for all kinds of reasons, what this community of "supporters" do is to spread more emotional harm, and they seem not to care a bit. My advice is that you look for a more qualified group for support. Protect yourself from eNotAlone.