I have been an active member of Al-Anon/Alateen Family Groups for many decades. It has helped me immensely......if you attend a meeting that does not suit u needs... Try another...."we aren't perfect"....but it is ONE avenue to (1) get support (2) learn about disease of alcoholism (3) find effective ways to love that person w/o losing u self
My nephew has come off the phone after getting the most ridiculous advice.
He also has been told personal details about the volunteer telephone advisors life.
Not professional. Not helpful if you're feeling vulnerable
I love the step work and I love the literature. I learned so much!! But unity through the traditions??? No I never felt accepted .. not even once. Group filled with people who already know each other and are not accepting of new people. My self esteem got worse over time. Had one person make up lies about me and that set the way for no one to accept me or include . Making it so hypocritical.
I would not recommend this group to anyone. Not every situation can fit nicely into their written or verbal scenarios. It is basically teaching passive aggressive behaviors toward the substance abuser. There also seems to be a propensity to gossip, without calling out a persons name. I gave it 6+ months, more than a fair shot and all I can say is "stay away". I believe it started out well and has evolved into something very different than intended. I do notice most new comers might come back once, maybe twice but that's it. Took me too long to come to the best conclusion.
I am a recovering alcoholic. I think AA is a very good program. Alcoholics and addicts, in most cases, are people who are too sensitive and over-react to people and events. Sometimes mental health issues we're not even aware of. So "letting go" is powerful for us. I attended AL Anon for several years and see a basic problem. People in AL Anon, in my experience, without exception may be sensitive, in fact, they usually are. The major difference is that they don't over-react--the don't react to anything at all. They avoid all conflict, which is why they get stuck with an alcoholic, usually a husband. The ones with addictive children are often an exception to my rule, but just as often they are also lifelong conflict avoiders. So they use AL Anon for something Bill W never forsaw--they use it to bolster the idea that they should ignore everything, even their own issues. It should be abolished, and they should go to counseling or drug counseling. The one thing they got right is they say they're sicker than the alcoholic. That's true. You see women in the meetings who have lived with a nonfunctional, unemployed drunk for 10, 20, 30 even 50 years. That's insane. AL Anon condones that dysfunctional, codependent behavior. Instead of "letting go" and going around in denial, they need to get counseling to learn how to stand up for themselves and to have the courage to deal with they're own issues of avoidance. AL Anon should be abolished.
Regardless of what others have said, I would highly recommend Al-anon.
No, their members are not perfect, but neither are you.
I was raised in a church setting, but still had a Father that was a closet drinker. This along w/ a very strict religious system had quite a negative impact on my life. Al-anon helped me to learn to "think for myself" without anyone judging me for doing so. It has been great therapy for me ..... and it doesn't cost a thing except your time.
I would not recommend this group, in my experience, staying away from substance abusers and very often their children is the way to go. I just got back from my first meeting and was humiliated in front of the group. I drove off with member chasing trying to make amends. Too late. The damage was already done.
If these people had been raised right, which they are not, they would no the proper way to act. They are, therefore, not the people I need to go to for help. I would never go back. I was suspect when it was recommended to try six meetings before I make up my mind to become a member. Clearly, I am not as sick as they are, despite my background. Al-Anon is a cult that depends on controlling just as the abusers have done. I don't need it and you most likely don't need it either.
All I have to say is that if you are an individual that can put ego aside and admit that there is a possibility that you don't know everything about life, regardless of how smart you think you are then you need to attend an Al-anon meeting.
More to come as I learn more.....
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