Sophie C.

Where do I start? This is going to be a long review so please don't waste your time reading it if you havn't got more than 5 minutes. Met four lads off the site & one off Tinder. I know this isn't about Tinder but I'm going to speak of all my online dating experiences.

I decided to join after splitting with my absolute gent of a boyfriend, things just fizzled out but he is a wonderful person & we are best friends since the break up so I do have faith in the male sex! I'm a 26 year old female & maybe I'm too normal, I don't play mind games, I'm generous, there's literally nothing complicated about me.

Here are my experiences.

Subject 1 - POF 2014

Met this 35 year old for the first time in a shopping centre, he wasn't as good looking as his photo depicted on the site but none the less there was a slight attraction there. We walked around aimlessly like a pair of idiots until I eventually suggested we could get a tea or coffee. He replies "I don't drink tea or coffee." That's grand except it's hard to talk when you're just walking around! After about 20 mins I just said I'd get a cup of tea if he didn't mind just so we could sit somewhere. I queued up & he hovered in the background & just as I'm about to purchase my tea he calls "Actually I'll have a bottle of water." Grand, so we sat down and chatted. I noticed he had a tooth missing on one side & a slight bit of rotting, it's lousy & judgemental I know but dental care is so affordable these days with pay monthly options & I actually have braces myself there's really no excuse. That may sound cruel but it's how it was. Chatted for a while, got on well enough, he walked me to my car, got in for a while, shifted which was surprisingly nice at the time but my God now it makes me feel sick. Actually gagging abit now. Then we both parted.
Next date, not sure how long after but we were texting regularly. Went to the cinema, we met half way for this so it was convenient for the two of us. Got in the queue & he stands back when we get to the counter. I order us two tickets then ask did he want anything to eat or drink, he didn't seem pushed so I said that I was getting some then he decided to get popcorn & a drink. No attempt to even go halves with me. Oh I actually forgot, we met at around 4:30pm & when we got there we realised the the film wasn't on until around 6pm. Instead of actually doing something to pass the time we sat in his car (no heating on) & basically just shifted. Anyway we're in the cinema & I made sure to sit on the side where his teeth were grand so I fancied him. I sound ridiculous. Film was good, had another shift, headed home. $#*!ed to my sis for ages about him being kind of tight, she said not to bother with him again. Ha.
Third date, he drove down my way, had jiggy jiggy, made sure to always lay on the side with the good teeth. Went for a Chinese take away, thinking surely he'll cover this, it was barely over a tener for our orders. I'm at the counter, ooh I feel his presence as the cashier gives us the price of the bill, I have my purse in hand about to pay... he elbows me slightly, suggesting "Wait there my lady, I have this covered." He didn't say this but the nudge thing meant this of course. He slides over a fiver with his index finger from his side of the counter to mine. Oh the insult. "It's grand" I said "I'll get it." "No" he says, "I insist." WHAT THE ACTUAL $#*!!
We get home, I eat my food away from him and like a slob because let's face it, I'm not trying to impress anyone any more. More jiggy jiggy probably because I'm a bit of a bloke when it comes to that, I really bloody enjoy it but it doesn't mean all that much to me at the same time. Oh yeah I think he had possibly started farting at this point, Jesus they were loud but they didn't stink otherwise I think that'd be the final straw.
I think this is "date number 4" it's all a bit jumbled. Yeah I'm an idiot. I drove over his way. We arranged to meet at around 2, spend the day together & go for dinner. I'm thinking I am finally going to get something covered by this fella, it's worth staunching out for. Get to his, jiggy jiggy, it took me over 2 hours to get to his due to my shocking inability to take the right turn off even though my good friend Sat Nav told me to. Anyway yeah, I hadn't eaten due to rushing around making myself look amazing (ha) then I'm thinking sure we're getting dinner so it's nice to be hungry for it. Well back to what happened, like I said, jiggy jiggy because we shifted when I got to his which leads to that. We fall asleep for a bit, jiggy again. Hours passed, I'm parched so asked for a drink, prob jig again, can't remember. It's nearly 8pm at this stage, I've been there for like 5+ hours. No sign of us heading out for dinner. Then he eventually goes "Well, things didn't really turn out the way we planned!" Making a joke of it, & I laugh and go something like yeah! But still thinking it's only bloody 8 o'clock, you can still purchase food at this time. Silence. Then I just said I've to go. Oh my God I had some shakes going home from starvation, mopped a sandwich on the way home from a garage, was actually shaking. $#*!ed to my sister about it again, she asked why do I bother because I always get home pissed off but also find it hilarious!
I think the next time (the next time, $#*! I am actually $#*!ed) was when I was on a few hours break from work & I asked had he had tea yet. He said no so we planned to get something on my break. We walk around the shops for a bit when I ask him what does he fancy. Oh suddenly he's miraculously full! What the hell. I just realised how food obsessed I am ha ha! So we walk around for a bit, my eyes are so bloody wide & what the $#*!y as we walk around. We get to the food court & he asks me what am I getting thinking "oh, he must be hungry now" I queue up & order. He is no where to be seen. Get my order which I had ordered to sit in but luckily they gave it to me as a take away accidentally. As I receive it he's miraculously back. "Are you not getting anything?" I ask. "No I'm fine." Well sweet Lord Devine just $#*!ing shoot me. I held myself for 5 minutes before saying that I wanted to head back to work earlier to get a shower. Got back to my car, shifted but I didn't enjoy it. He sensed I was pissed off about something but I just said I was tired because I am such a $#*!ing nice person. Get to work, mop my food because I was steeeeeeeeerving!
It was at this point I lost all interest, I forgot to reply, I was talking to other people, I was busy, life was in the way. I lost all respect etc.
He copped my sudden lack of interest & eventually just asked straight out what happened. I said nothing, he kept at me so I eventually blurted the whole thing out about how stingy he was. His responses didn't even make sense. I think he did come to mine again & he covered both of our Chinese take away, finally. He messaged me regularly but I'd forget to reply, you know yourself when you're literally just not interested. A couple of months pass & it's around Christmas time. I find a card addressed to me on the hallway floor, with a stamp and everything! It was from him! A letter of apology, 2 little gifts & a groupon voucher for a massage. Not bad. Now I never used the voucher due to it being for a place that I wouldn't be for recreational purposes. I did think it was sweet at the time but as time passed it was kind of like a tight gift as well but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt because I'm not a material person. I got him a few gifts too & I made him dinner at one of the stages, shepherds pie or something along the lines of that. After our dinner there was a small baking dish left over, just enough do feed an adult. I asked him did he want to bring it home and he accepted which was great. The next day we were messaging & he said how he & his son (who's around 12 I think) had it for tea, he said his son wished there was more. You'd think he's have even put on a few chips there's no way it would've filled two people. If he's poor that's one thing but he had no problem scabbing off me. That last bit was funnier before but as I wrote it I kind of felt bad. Anyway think I called him down for a ride in January some time then I just lost all interest. He still snapchats the odd time, I might reply, I might not. His face kinda makes my feel sick. Never got my baking dish back either ha ha! Now onto the next one.

Subject 2 - TINDER 2015

Mutually matched (both swiped "yes" on each other for those not familiar.) Oh how a single swipe of the finger can change ones life forever. That's a tad bit dramatic. He was nearly 40 I think. Anyway we exchange numbers on it, getting on grand, his spelling wasn't the most amazing but I don't judge people on that too much as I know people who suffer from dyslexia & it's not their fault. Got on well, arranged to meet at a pub close to my work place after I finished my shift (he lived near where I work.) Got near the pub where he was standing & he hopped into the car showing me where to park. Got out & he headed to the bar & got us a drink. I wasn't drinking alcohol as I was driving home. We sat down in a little booth, him opposite me, we talked, well he talked most of the time in this annoying Dublin accent about how he was in Chicago bla bla & how he went either with a girl or met a girl over there who ended up ditching him over there. I thought that was mean at the time but now I know why! Still thought he was kinda cute, a bit too thin for my liking but I found him attractive. I get us a round of drinks, he's still waffling away & I'm more smiling & nodding. This man could talk. Then suddenly he goes all dramatic up to the bar man & tells him how he just saw a bunch of teens legging it away from somewhere outside. Probably up to no good but it literally had nothing to do with anything, I'd say the bar man was like what the $#*!?! He also said he played in a band which always sounds so cool but I've heard that SO many times it doesn't impress me in the slightest. After him after having about 4 large Bulmers he's having a great time, I'm getting kind of bored due to being sober & having the ears talked off me. Next thing he comes over to my side of the booth & goes "I just have to kiss ya" in which I went along with but as he pulled away his head was all annoying & shaky. We shifted some more then went to another bar that I had NO interest on going to. He ended up talking the ears off me again, then some locals he knew came over & you could see by them that my date was a bit of a spa, they kind of took the piss out of him without him even realising. Oh he plays the harmonica & bongo, will get back to that. It was gone 12am so I had to just explain that I have a 50 minute drive home & then work again in the morning so he eventually finishes his drink & walks me part of the way to my car. We shift (my hands were getting busy & could feel that he was thinner than I'd usually go for) then I head back to mine. Oh and he kept saying his eyes were blue, has nothing to do with anything but they were bloody green.
I think we were chatting most days, actually yes we did he would message me through every means of doing so. Facebook messenger, Viber, WhatsApp, text you name it. I probably should have backed off at that point but you know yourself.
This fella over the course of us chatting said he owned this sports car, he showed me a video, I thought it was cool but it didn't impress me, not too mad in to cars. This part will make sense as the story unfolds.
I was coming from Dublin back down to my home one afternoon, I was at a friend's house the previous night & asked did he fancy coming down for the day & get the bus back. He accepted, all good. We get all frisky on the couch & head upstairs, I am not just saying this to be mean but the sex was completely mediocre, he sweated so much my hands kept slipping off of his back, it was quite nasty. He also never smelt of anything, as though he hadn't had a fresh shower or sprayed on a bit of aftershave which was a bit strange. Actually the previous fella was a bit on the BO side as well now I think of it. Not sure what that's about. I said I was cooking us dinner so I head downstairs & put it on, when it was pretty much ready I called him. He said he was coming down. 20 minutes later he hasn't come down so I go up to him & say its getting cold, he comes down barely even picks at it because he's a skinny little $#*! then we drink cans & watch TV. Oh I mentioned I had some weed upstairs from ages ago when I went to a festival, we must've been talking about smoking at one stage. He asked could he have some so I went & got it & he rolled it up etc & smokes the whole lot, never even got offered any of my own drugs haha! Probably went to bed after, the next morning I got down & put us on some toast & cereal that he likes & a cup of coffee. I bring it up in a tray & he goes "think I'll keep you" which is so flattering but so cringe as I was already going off him, he just waffled so much. We bummed in bed for a while, he wanted to stream a film in my room so you're talking 2 more hours being confined to a room. This would be ideal if it was with someone ili actually wanted to spend time with. I asked him did he want to do something, we couldn't think of anything so I got my mate to text me to say her Mum was in hospital so I could leave. It wasn't a lie but she's been there for a while so I dropped him to the bus station and he left. Freedom.
Now he doesn't seem too bad but it was his constant messaging that was beginning to wear me down & he was always liking and sharing $#*! on Facebook, your talking 50 things a day, no exaggeration. I gave myself a few days to think about things then I was like $#*! it we'll meet up again. He was going to drive but suddenly him & his Dad share it so he couldn't bring it. This "sports car" was never seen or mentioned again, probably just borrowed it for 5 mins & got someone to record it! It didn't matter, the bus goes down near mine so say the bus he got was due to stop near my estate at 3, I drove to the bus stop just so he wouldn't get lost actually walking to my place, it wasn't far but I wasn't sure if he'd remember. So I see the bus he's on pull up & no one gets off. That's strange I'm thinking because he knew to stop there. So I'm following the bus into town for it's next stop like a spa. He gets off & goes to cross the road, I'm waving like crazy at him, he doesn't see me then I beep the horn & then he acknowledges me. He opens the passenger door & I ask him did he not think I'd be waiting for him, then he said that he was going to go into a pub for a bit to charge his phone to message me. I'm thinking well if you didn't like & share the bejesus out of your phone battery like a normal person then your phone wouldn't be flat! We go back to mine for a bit, prob shift etc then we were both hungry so instead of cooking we decided to get a chippers. He orders his then I order mine, we get to the till & the cashier asks were we paying together or separate. Simple question. Your man doesn't reply even though he's first at the counter so I just said "separate" to save the awkward silence. It was a bit annoying seeing as I cooked & bought us drinks the first time, thought he'd at least cover my wrap & chips, hardly breaking the bank!
He went home the next day & that's the last I saw of him. I messaged him very politely saying I wasn't ready for a relationship, he said it was fine & that if I ever changed my mind to get back to him. Oh I just remembered he sent me a million awful selfies a day, a video of him playing the bongos which was so awkward to watch, a sound clip of him playing the harmonica to that song "creep" & he also put a collage of my photos together with love hearts around it before we even met. The two times he came down my way I noticed on Facebook that he wrote my hometown on his status spelt arse ways with a happy face as well. Sad really. All bits are only coming to me now, he was obsessed with star signs & because we were both Sagittarius he was full sure that we were meant to be together.
After he sent that reasonable reply I said thanks & take care. Well, not even an hour passed & he got pissed off with me asking why was I on a dating site if I wasn't ready for a relationship then he told me his Dad was in hospital. I have probably missed out a lot more to this story as things are only really coming back to me now, the order mightn't be accurate but all this happened. I actually think I broke it off before & he said his Dad was rushed to hospital & this was the second & last time I broke it off for real, that's when he said his Dad was dying. Convenient. Prior to this he did get very obsessive with copying & pasting the way Sagittarius people think etc, it was too much. I blocked him on everything except bloody Viber because I completely forgot then I get "Now I know the real you, good luck to you $#*!" & I just replied "have fun harassing the next girl" then he got nasty saying he was gonna send some videos of me to my work place. By videos they're not what they sound, they were me embarrassingly miming on dubsmash nothing sexual! And I was like "yeah work away" then he said I was fat with horrible tits & that it was no wonder my boyfriend left me, which wasn't even true. What are you, 12? I put a laughing face and said "I never said I was skinny & yeah my tits aren't great." Then he replies "I'm glad we got all the anger out, I really like you" bla bla bla. I told him to please stop contacting me. Later on he rang me on Viber saying how he was crying so much, it sounded so pathetic. My sister actually recorded the whole thing! Then his Dad "died". I felt terrible if this was true, but I knew it was lies. I went along with it asking did he need support at the funeral "I'm not going to the funeral" he replied. I was like you have to go, it's your Dad. "I told him when he was here that I wouldn't go" as you do! So I looked up all deaths with his surname, nothing. Then I looked up deaths in his area, still nothing. A few days had passed & I got a message off him on Facebook, I'd unblocked him as I wanted to see did he put anything up about his Dad. He asked did I want to meet up for some "crazy, funky sex" I declined, as tempting as it was. Ha. He said he could make me scream all night & I just asked why he didn't do that the times we were together already, he said something along the lines of because we didn't really know each other. I said that trying to hook up with someone should be the last thing on his mind after burying a parent. He then sends me a pic of his horrible $#*!. Then I asked him why did he & his Dad have different surnames? Now, this wouldn't have made any sense to someone normal. He replies "he wasn't my real Dad" I ask "he was your step Dad?" "No he was like my real Dad, my real Dad died when I was 6 months old" I then send an image of a bull$#*!-o-meter going off the scale. He said I was heartless etc. then goes back to asking for sex. Blocked! That was the end of him! Half expected him to get a bus down to murder me haha!

In between these online flings I have been seeing a few people I met in real life but they were no better. Liked me for 5 minutes then ditched. I think there's more wrong with me than I think!

SUBJECT 3 - POF 2015

Talked for a few days, he was 34 or so & he had children which never bothered me before but my ex has children & I don't think I have room in my heart to be getting involved again. Selfish maybe but honest. We talked for a bit via POF and as I was talking to a few others he was pushed aside. It happens to us all, you get into conversation with someone for a few hours, someone "better" takes your fancy & so forth. Anyway that same evening he practically begged me to give him a chance, he wasn't too far from me so I said feck it, I'll give it a go.
Met up one afternoon, might have been the following day, well what a sweetie, I could tell he was nervous, he kept saying it too. He seemed very into me, really flattering but kind of too much too soon. He asked me during the date would I meet him again. I said yes & I did. I did fancy him he just seemed too intense & kissing him was almost forced, he would randomly just put his arms around me & kiss me. Sounds lovely but we were strangers. Can't say a bad word about him though. A lovely guy. It ended when he asked me during the second date would I see him again, kind of put on the spot there. I said yes, which I meant at that time. I was talking to another lad as well & lost interest. He text me asking would I meet up again & I honestly just said I couldn't commit to anything. That was the end of that.
Actually he makes me realise that there are genuinely sweet people on the site. We made Facebook friends & I see he is now in a relationship & I am delighted for him, he deserves to be happy.

SUBJECT 4 - POF 2015

Nice to look at, in his early 30's, lived practically 2 minutes up the road from my parents. Met the same evening as a date with "subject 3", prob a bit bad but it happened.
Met at his place, he looked as good as his photos, well let's just say there was absolutely no chemistry what so ever. I had more craic with his dog. His Dad arrived to the house unexpectedly & I got on better with him, seriously! After a pleasant evening of chatting like we were two awkward teenagers. We shared an awkward, no chemistry at all kiss outside. It was so cold my lips were shuddering aswell! Said our goodbyes. He text me that evening making sure I got home safe, I'd already fallen asleep but I replied the next day. Never a second "date" but he actually text me last week (2+ months after) so he either was bored or no one is interested in replying to him. Not a bad guy just no chemistry. I had actually forgotten about him!

SUBJECT 5 - POF 2015

Now this lad was perfect, I'm talking got on via texting from the get go. He was 36. We actually met on a Friday after only after starting to talk on a Wednesday. We met half way in a pub Friday evening, he hands me a box of Butlers chocolates, how sweet. Although he was shorter than I expected I found him attractive, a bit goofy but he said he was getting braces, I didn't even mind the goofiness it was cute. The conversation was just flowing, we laughed, both asked questions that came out naturally, we actually kissed which felt to me like the most amazing kiss you could imagine for a first date. We both walked towards our cars, kissed again then drove home. I actually rang my friend on the way home saying how crazy well we got on, the perfect date. I get home & he messaged "Hope you got home safe, great date x" & I replied that I got home safe & agreed that we got on well. We messaged each other every day without fail, there were no games, sometimes I messaged first, sometimes him, it was just perfect. The next time we met he met me in a pub near where I worked, like the first time, the conversation was flowing, we kissed, we had a connection, it went great. The only thing I will say is he mentioned that he used to take "E" a lot which is a strong drug, I wasn't brought up around that. I was quite surprised as he seemed really intelligent. We laughed, kissed, he had his arm around me. At the end of the date we said our goodbyes and he would've either messaged me that night or the day after. I can't quite remember where we met the 3rd time, cinema & dinner possibly, but it wasn't until the 4th time that we slept together which as you can guess, was amazing! We met on average 3 days a week, he always made the effort. We took it in turns to cover dates/dinners. All so perfect. This went on for around 8 weeks of texting & even talking on the phone most evenings. By week 6 or so I asked him did he fancy going to a concert with me, he accepted. Now within those 8 or so weeks he had met my 2 sisters & good few of my friends who he got along with. He even met my Mum accidentally. After the concert we & 3 of my friends went for a few drinks. We walked along the quays hand in hand & I stayed at his, met his housemate, all was good. I was going on holidays on the Monday and the concert was on the Friday before hand. He dropped me back to my mates place (my car was at hers) Saturday morning after getting breakfast rolls for ourselves & the others. He stayed for a bit then headed on & we arranged to meet on Sunday. He came over on Sunday, we went out for dinner which he covered like a gent. We kissed goodbye for ages & he said he'd miss my lips. We did a hell of a lot of kissing. 2 days into my holiday we are messaging just fine, he sends kisses etc. I was over on holidays for a wedding, the wedding was on Wednesday, this is where it all ended. I'm setting the scene, I'm at a wedding, it's about 5/6pm give or take, I've been drinking rather large measurements of vodka since 2pm. It's all lovey dovey & beautiful. When suddenly, 2 things that should never be able to be in contact with each other: alcohol & a mobile phone. The devil's combination. This is all I remember as I am a mess but I text him with something along the lines of "I think I'm falling for you" I know I know, it's been 2 months & it's too soon for that. I was drunk, I was at a wedding etc. well I can't remember the reply as I go and delete our entire "relationship" worth of messages out of drunken stubbornness. I know he said he didn't see us going anywhere, I'm too young etc. And this fella only a few days before hand when I asked what would I refer to him as to my friends we were going to the concert with. He says "well boyfriend" so his words there.

That was the end of my most "perfect" POF date in the matter of seconds. Do I regret sending that text? A little, but I keep telling myself how many more months would I have wasted with him if I hadn't have written that. Things happen for a reason. And because I'm quite emotionally immature sometimes & it makes my feel better. Here's a list of his faults, enjoy:

Told me he had a fear of cardigans
He didn't like me rubbing his upper arms or lower back in case I stretched his t-shirts
Takes "E"
Wore that stupid string that old or simple people wear on all his sunglasses
Asked me to wash my mouth with soap when I kissed my dog before I kissed him
I went down on him once then when we got down to business he went all strange when I kissed him, he then says he's funny about that & asked could I rinse my mouth out. I just didn't bother kissing him.

It's amazing what exceptions you make when you like someone.

Actually think I'm done with lads, I've been talking to my ex a lot so I wouldn't be surprised if we try things again.

I don't believe everyone on POF is a complete weirdo I just thing the human race is getting greedy, thinking they can always get someone better. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. I'm still a good few years off my 30's, these lads are getting closer to 40, God knows what they're really looking for.

All the best :)