Navigating the TalkTalk Tangle: A Grand Adventure at 80!

So, here I am, an octogenarian explorer, weathered by time, battle-scarred by experience, and armed with the uncanny ability to spot a broadband mirage. Three plus years hitched to the TalkTalk rollercoaster, and let me tell you, it's been a ride!

Their internet waltz is a masterpiece, a symphony of drops and disappearances, leaving me hanging for minutes that stretch like a cat's afternoon nap. Day or night, it's an equal-opportunity vanisher. I call 'em up, thinking they hold the secrets of the digital realm, only to be met with bewildered shoulder shrugs. "Fair usage"? Mention that, and you'd think I was waving a red flag at a bull. They steer clear faster than a cat avoiding a bath.

The money game, though, that's their jam. They've got a flawless memory when it comes to your bills, but ask 'em about what they've actually done for you, and you'll get more blank looks than a staring contest champion. It's a monthly ritual, a theatrical performance where they conjure fees from thin air, like pulling rabbits from a hat, only less entertaining.

Now, let's talk customer service – or as I like to call it, the "Delay and Distract Dance." They've mastered the art of scripted evasion, leaving you wondering if they're reading off a teleprompter or just speaking in some secret code. They've got more stalls than a farmer's market, and believe me, they're not shy about using 'em.

To my dear pals at TalkTalk: Save the fake apologies for your grandma's birthday party. I've spent more hours on hold than a teenager spends on TikTok, and sorry, but time isn't a currency you can refund. I've become a master of their repetitive banter, like a jukebox stuck on a broken record, playing hits from yesteryears.

Fellow adventurers, lend me your ears! Time's too precious to be squandered on the TalkTalk circus. Their disruptions are like mosquitoes at a picnic – annoying as heck and draining your energy faster than a toddler on a sugar high. So, fork over a few extra bucks and upgrade to a provider that won't treat you like a tech-illiterate grandparent. Trust me, there's a land of better options out there, and you deserve the royal treatment.

As I bid adieu to TalkTalk, I look back on the countless calls, the scripted tap dance, and the assumption that customers are as gullible as a dog chasing its own tail. This little exposé barely scratches the surface of my escapades. The iceberg of TalkTalk troubles runs deep, my friends, deeper than a mystery novel plot. And as for that single star? Well, let's just say it's shining brighter than a supernova of disappointment.

Where do I start with this review. It has to be as long as it is because there has been SO many issues with this company, just looking and seeing the words Talktalk fill me with dread and anxiety. I have asked them to ban me from their services so if I ever lose my marbles or forget what myself and partner have been through we don't accidently try to sign up years down the line.

So we had Talktalk at our old address, my girlfriend lived their first and it was in her name, initially I had no issues setting up here internet there. Easy as 1,2,3 guy came out, signed up for it online, no issues with internet, would of stayed with them for decades if what was to come never happened.

So I move in with her after we get married, at this point she has had Talktalk for around 4 years, no issues, good internet, fast and reliable. Please do not get me wrong I am a very patient man and incompetence is rampant in 2023 so I expect some teething issues, but what I experienced left me literally insane.

So I try to switch to new address online, nope sorry online system cant do that (no reason why just can't) so I try live chat, nope can't do that. I hate doing things on the phone because it always devolves into a he said/she said type of argument down the line. Anyway I ask the lady to switch to my new address, her name was Danielle. She repeats what I say and what I want word for word, seems very competent sets me up a new account in my name for our new address and closes the account for my wife.
Only issue with the call I would say is it took ages because they have to transfer me to 100 different departments no matter who you call will have to transfer you multiple times.
No problem right? Well I check the email shortly after of the confirmation and I see a completely different address than the one I gave her, somewhere near to my address but I have never been there or even seen its name, so I cant of given it wrong.
Luckily during our chat I remember that we got disconnected at one point and she rang me back, so I ring this number and get straight to Danielle. She says she must of clicked the wrong address on the system and that she will ring me back tomorrow, no issue.
Guess what, no call from Danielle and then I get on the text, live chat, phone calls to get it sorted. I get assured that my address is changed and that I will get an email. I constantly get transferred I have issues verifying myself because obviously I have the wrong address on the system. Everytime I either get hung up on, disconnected or pass through dozens of departments because apparently no one there has the authority to do anything.
So No email comes after being basically told I'm pestering them and that I should 100% be sure that its sorted. Guess what, no email comes, no confirmation. Still cant log on to my account (like all the emails say I can) because the address is incorrect and I don't have all the details of the incorrect address.
Eventually my GO-LIVE date comes, no text, no email, no modem. I get in contact with them again, hours of swapping departments, issues etc.
Oh sorry btw we have delayed your modem because we are busy. At this point I ask to cancel, so I get told to ring up, so I ring up (all my calls are recorded automatically too so I have proof of all of these events) and tells me that I am cancelled now and that my services are over.
At one point I got told by the live chat person to ring the cancellation line and apologising for their incompetence, she told me they are closed at 8. So I ring up as she has given me the number at 7, guess what? Sorry we are closed. This is the kind of incompetence I am talking about.
So knowing full well that all these people just tell me sweet little lies I message/text and live chat to see if it is a couple of days later, no SIR your services are still active. So after going insane I managed to contact them a dozen more times until I get written confirmation in the live chat that its cancelled.
I literally had to get some extra medication from my mental health dealing with this, as I must have spent a full working week dealing with this incompetence.
So after it is cancelled I get a text about a week later from an engineer asking if he can pop over to install the TalkTalk, I text him no I cancelled it weeks ago, no response from him after that. Then a modem pops up. (I'm currently on live chat as I type this just trying to get them to send me a returns bag to return it and being switched through 100 departments to be told to ring up) I'm sure I'll still get charged for it to because they can't do anything right.

So finally I think the nightmare is over, I turn up at my old address to pick up some mail and there is a Talktalk box there with my wife's name on it? So they sent her a TalkTalk modem after she cancelled her services. Good thing I found it otherwise I'm sure they would send debt collectors after us and charge us £50 and damage our credit because cancelling a service to TalkTalk means send us a new modem too.

Honestly I think I could work for TalkTalk now and know all their staff by name, I must of put in 40 hours in the couple of weeks before I started this service, I'll surely probably be receiving modems for the rest of my life so I can start my own broadband company, I only have 3 to return right now.
So no I will never be signing up with them again or recommending them, they offered me £40 off my bill and £100 in amazon vouchers to let them sort it out, I laughed, like ill ever get them and the issue will just sort itself out, no chance. I would not sign up to them again if they PAID me monthly to have it.

If you have severe health problems like myself and get ill from stress, DO NOT GO WITH TALKTALK, I would of stayed with them for decades if it wasn't for Danielle in sales messing it up starting the ball of issues spinning.
P.s Forgot to say at one point a lady on the live chat said she would get the complaints department to call me to sort out the issue, I got an email saying they would be in contact, that was over a week ago lol. Won't hold my breath.

People have probably read about the bad reputation of talktalk but you really have to experience dealing ewith them to realise just what a despicable vile evil company it really is, run by a clueless Tristia Harrison who couldn't care less how badly customers are treated, I was un unfortunate customer of that disgusting company, I am also a "Vulnerable customer" having a heart problem, talktalk always tell you how they "prioritise vulnerable customers" what a sick joke, they left me for months with crap connection, I had to wait 3 weeks for an engineer who never bothered to turn up or even have the decency to call, I informed talktalk that night, what did that vile company do? Instead of the compensation they promised and I was entiteld to, they ACTUALLY penalised me, £60 was in effect stolen from me, it really beggars belief, cowboys would have been ashamed but not this vile company, no one from ceo office lifted a finger to help, In mt desperation I contacted CEO Tristia Harrison directly explaing my situation and my health status, she didn't give a sh**, not even a simple response let alone help, SO IN REALTY THE SICK AND VULNERABLE ARE TREATED LIKE GARBAGE by that disguting company, again and again they have been named by Ofcom as the WORST PROVIDER iIN THE UK, So o while the customers including vulnerable ones are screwed, mistreated, Tristia is laughing all the way to the bank.

Where to start? It has been SO awful, that even the process of trying to leave TalkTalk has been incredibly distressing
- There was a fault with my broadband that took 2 and a half hours of phone calls and online chats, over a few days, to get resolved.
- They would tell me the fault was resolved and then it would happen again.
- Every time you contact them it takes 10-15 minutes before the issue can actually be discussed (they have to spend ages waiting for your account to come up on their screen and it takes ages to get through their security).
- Every time you speak to a new person (they pass you from team to team and back again), the issue has to be explained all over again.
- It is very difficult to understand each other. I would explain the issue and they would usually misunderstand (with the exception of when I managed to get through to a manager. Often I was unable to understand what they were saying).
- During all this I was told I had 'some orders' in process. I had not placed any orders. They told me I had 'done one click' on an email I'd been sent and placed an order for something. I had not. They did not believe me. I later checked my email and I hadn't even opened any of the sales emails from TalkTalk in recent months. They said they would cancel said 'order' (surely it can't even be legal for someone to make a legally binding action through one click on an email?).
- This led to a conversation about pricing. I had come off fixed term and was then paying a ridiculously high price each month. They offered me a better deal. I agreed to go ahead with this and start a new fixed term contract. When the time came around for this to have started, I checked my bill: I was now paying even more than before...
- I had three different conversations with them about this ranging from 1-2 hours long each. They denied that they had agreed a new fixed term contract with them with this price. One of the advisors even said that the 'one click order' had never been cancelled and concluded that what the person had agreed with me over the phone was just to continue with the 'one click order' that had apparently been on my account. This of course does not make sense since I was still on a rolling contract, although I did now have the faster fibre, just at an extortionate price...
- Instead of the refund for my overpayment, I was offered a 'goodwill gesture' of £10 that nowhere near matched what I was actually owed.
- They offered me a new contract that matched what had been agreed weeks before. In addition to the better price, I would be on a rolling contract rather than a fixed term contract. I asked the advisor to email me the offer this time since I could not trust the verbal offer after what had happened last time. He said he was unable to send emails, and eventually agreed that one of his colleagues would do this. I never received an email. When I called them again they knew nothing about the offer, and denied that it was possible.
- During all this I asked for copies of a couple of 2018 bills since in 'My Account', only the last 12 months-worth of bills are available. When they arrived they were 2019 bills and had a strange town included in the address field.
- They agreed the lower price, but with a fixed term contract. I explained I would go ahead but would take my complaint to the CEO since they were still not acknowledging that they owed me money and had failed to put in place the new contract that had been agreed, and had denied they had ever owed it to me. I was told that if I pursued my complaint then the 'goodwill gesture' would not be given to me.
- I told them I would switch to another company and asked them to escalate my complaint further. They said they would and that I would receive a phone call. I received 3 strange phone calls from an 0800 TalkTalk number at different times that literally rang my phone for half a ring and thus were impossible to pick up.
- In the meantime I arranged to switch to Vodafone on 17th Feb. Then Plusnet offered me a better service. I cancelled Vodafone and was told that Vodafone manage the communication with TalkTalk so I did not need to do anything.
- On 17th Feb my Internet connection stopped. When I called TalkTalk (strangely, I still had a phone line, and still do even writing this!) it became clear that my complaint was still open but that they were not interested in responding to it. I was passed from team to team and in over the space of 16 hours I spoke to 7 different people. In that time I was told lots of different things like 'maybe the openreach exchange is being upgraded', 'I can see your line is still active'. It wasn't until I spoke to a manager that I was told what had happened: they had disconnected my internet because they were told by another provider that I was moving to them on that date and said they were not aware that this had been cancelled. I was told there was nothing that can be done because the line is now disconnected and to have internet I would need to start a new contract with them (not a chance!).
- I did explain to them that because my Plusnet contract doesn't go live till March, they would otherwise have two weeks of extra custom from me, but, computer says 'no', of course. During the 96 minute conversation I looked up prices for buying extra data from my mobile phone provider and decided this was a far better solution in the interim anyway, since the silver lining is: I AM NOW FREE OF TALKTALK!
I hope I have been able to give you a sense of how crazy-making these experiences with TalkTalk have been. I felt beyond frustrated, and violated, since as far as I am concerned they have actually stolen from me, having gone back on what they agreed, and then denied all of this and not giving me full reimbursement for the resulting overpayment. To have to spend hours and hours getting anything resolved is just soul-destroying, especially when they have such a non-accountable attitude. I can't imagine any circumstances under which it would be worth getting involved with this company in any shape or form. I am writing this in the hope that I can prevent others from having the experience I did.

Update 25/02/20: I have received a bill for a Feb-Mar service even though the service is disconnected. The advisor I spoke to had a very passive-aggressive attitude, and he hung up on me.

Today I left Talk Talk after a running battle with their customer service team.

I want to stress that my decision to leave is not related to the data breach although that indicates a level of incompetency that should automatically rule out ever using them as your ISP.

The reason why I left was down to incredibly poor customer service. The key points are highlighted below -

- Requested a house move with a deactivation date of the 26th and an activation date of the 28th at the new residence.
- The line was disconnected on the 20th (6 days early).
- From my call logs I can see that I spoke on a number of occasions to the 'technical team' to the tune of 2hrs 30mins with no explanation given as to why the line was deactivated early.
- The best they could come up with was 'turning off my router for 30min'. Something that they advised to do on three occasions.
- During one of the completely fruitless calls I hear children screaming in the background. First of two calls when this happened leaving me to believe that they have outsourced their tier 1 support to homebased Indian resources who are charged with being as helpful as a brain aneurysm.
- Upon deciding to just wait it out until the reactivation I received an email saying 'Sorry that you cancelled your activation' on the day before the activation.
- At the same time I received a text message stating that my activation was scheduled for tomorrow.
- Once again I spoke to the customer services team who had no idea why this happened but assured me that it would occur on the 28th.
- After taking a day off work an Open Reach engineer did indeed turn up and after 1.5hrs, he ran into a fault as the information given to him by Talk Talk was incorrect, he was satisfied that the line was connected and working fine.
- WHILST he was setting up the line Talk Talk call to inform me that I've missed my appointment so now need to set-up another time to get an engineer around. This was the first of two similar calls over the next 24 hours...
- When I try and test the connection I notice that my Routers default information has been lost in the move so I need authentication details for my account.
- Queue three hours of calls with Talk Talk customer services who told me that my account would not be 'activated' until midnight and that there was no way for them to activate it manually.
- Needless to say the next morning arrived and still no connection.
- Queue another call wanting to schedule another Open Reach appointment to set-up my already set-up line!
- Once again I speak to the team at Talk Talk and specifically ask them for the authentication details on my account. They are unable to provide this and can only direct me to My Account seemingly unaware that has been down for a week and as I write this review is still down.
- I end up speaking to the retention team who finally inform me that it looks like there's a fault on the line; even though the Open Reach engineer was adamant that it was working fine and they either needed to authenticate me or activate me on their systems.
- Next step is to get the engineer back out but they can't book this because the booking 'system' was down. That was the final straw...
- Contract cancelled and Talk Talk lose a customer who has been with them for over 2 years.

It is difficult to come up with words that explain the level of incompetency and at times rudeness of the customer services team. And when you finally get speaking to the retention team that sound like they're based in the UK they don't have the systems to do the job.

Bottom line do not use these guys. There are plenty of other providers out there who now do similar price deals so being the cheapest is no longer a differentiation point and trust me you really do not want to go through what I experienced.

Complete and utter shambles.