Despite the tile of "discussion forums", posters are not allowed to post opinions that differ with the moderators' interpretation of the rest of the MarriageBuilders website articles. The primary author of the rest of the MarriageBuilders website content (Dr Harley) does not seem to participate in the discussion forums, possibly because there is a separate pay-for-advice service that he offers (and that is frequently mentioned by the forum moderators)
Dissenting opinions are edited or outright removed. The moderators/members also push strongly for poeple to install spyware, keyloggers, gps tracker devices to spy on potentially cheating spouses, but do not seem to allow any mention of the safety hazards or legality of such methods (e.g. the fact that keylogger or spyware software could potentially make a phone/computer and all passwords & personal data available to hackers or identity thieves--a risk that users should be aware of before making their own decisions).
Since many members show up at the site in emotional distress caused by marriage troubles and/or affairs, the hard sell tactics of the active members should be viewed with caution.
This is a strange site/forum, there are only a tiny handful of "members" active most of the time, waiting for unsuspecting newbies to register and log on. There is no independent thinking and mods are extremely rude and hostile towards any ideas/content/suggestion that do not come from Dr Harley, even though there are of course many different types of problems and complexity of situation. It is really a narrow, one size fits all mentality, almost slavishly cult-like, therefore I recommend avoiding this site.
This site does not allow open dialogue if anyone has an opinion that differs from the precise teachings of Dr. Harley. The best I can tell there are fewer than 20 active posters, and the majority of them appear to be moderators and/or administrators in hiding. I clicked on the profiles of the Mods and most had very few posts.
They encourage exposing the infidelity, which is fine, but betrayed spouses are encouraged to put the affair partner on Cheaterville but not their own spouse. Thus, it is a double standard. If members do not follow the steps to the letter they are called out and ridiculed. As soon as they fall back in line, they are received with softer words and encouragement, step out of line and the ridicule comes back.
On any given day each individual forum has 0-5 active topics, so it is not a large community. It appears to have many members, but not active members by any stretch. It appears most people make an account and abandon it fairly quickly.
If you bring up another expert in infidelity you are told to get back to following Dr. Harley or find a new forum.
This site is rigid and closed-minded.
It's one thing to get married it's a whole different story when it come to staying happily married. Of all the websites, therapists, counselors and friends I have come in contact with, when it comes to good and useful advice on how to keep it together, this website is numero uno. I have used his advice time and again and even sent other people there for advice. I can't say you won't hit any bumps in the road following his advice but I am convinced your chances are infinitely better of avoiding a blow out. The author claims that to be really effective both spouses/partners have to read or at least follow his advice - and I agree. While my spouse has never looked at the site, just from what I've learned I believe it has helped me 100 times over. To be fair the website is huuuuge - probably over 200 pages. Don't be intimidated. He has a short overview which I strongly recommend and a well organized topic index. Try your best to see the big picture he is painting and the rest should fall in place even if you don't read it. It was just luck, years ago when I happen to chance upon the site. I needed it bad when I luckily found it. I figured the least I could do is spread the word. I know how painful a bad relationship can be - this website can often help. Good luck and best wishes
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