The M.

How to win Tinder:

If you are male: Think of Tinder as a game like Contra or Dark Souls. Yes it's hard, but if you take the time to learn the game, you can win. Follow these pro-tips:

- Before you do anything, take a good look at yourself. What are your best qualities? How can you improve yourself? Would you DO you? My point is, you are selling yourself, so put your best foot forward.

- Post good photos! Have a friend take pics of you doing fun activities that cater to the girl you are looking for. Want a fit girl? Post pics of yourself in the gym, for example. Failing that, post a pic of yourself with a guitar, even if you can't play one. Trust me on this one.

-Also, learn how to play guitar.

-Do something unique in your profile! Post a funny joke, or a funny acronym, or a pic of yourself doing something that nobody else is doing like skydiving. Remember that you are competing with thousands of other guys for a small handful of women. Be competitive!

-Learn how to talk to women! Just telling a girl "hey" isn't going to win her over. Convey yourself as interesting, funny, sweet, and more importantly, positive. Don't drone about how horrible things are in your life. Talk about how awesome your job is, share funny stories, or talk about the new guitar you just bought because some cool stranger told you to learn guitar (wink, wink).

-Buy Tinder Platinum! Just a month. Make sure you manage your payment options so they don't charge you for multiple months. I'll tell you why in a second.

-Hide your age and distance. Girls are going to pick apart every detail, and what they don't know won't hurt you.

-Be wary of the countless fake, dead, or scam accounts on the site. I added a pic of a "woman" who obviously photoshopped a pic "she" stole from an image search. Also be on the lookout for profiles that are vague, have poor English ("Ask me what i do"), or use pics that were clearly stolen off of some chick's social media.

-Here's why you buy Platinum. Smash that like button like a caveman! Then after that, change your location to London or something, and smash dislike for twice as long as you did the like button. You have to beat the algorithm here, otherwise your profile will sink to the bottom of the "deck" and the likes will stop.

-Don't give up!

If you are female: Exist.