Steve F.

Viewing an item in detail and trying to get back to the search could be a little better.

To the parents, if you are reading this review, it means you likely have a very difficult situation with your teen and are trying to decide if DRA is right for you. PLEASE read this review. We understand your fears-my wife and I were in your same situation 8 months ago! Our goal with this review is to help you understand why making a decision to let go and temporarily turn your teen over to an organization like DRA is ABSOLUTELY the right thing to do. We will give you background so you have context about our situation, common fears and misconceptions we had and how they were handled, why DRA works in our opinion, and to let you know where we are now with our son.

Our son's troubles started when we transitioned from 8th grade to 9th grade. He was confident, engaging, and outgoing. He was a standout player in three different sports. Unfortunately, a combination of social networking sites, cell phone and text addiction, poor friend choices, and immaturity, gave way to D's and F's, failing relationships at home, marijuana use, and a rebellious attitude that became worse and worse. At the age of 17 and at the beginning of the second semester of his junior year, he found his way into the juvenile court system for a weekend gone wrong. We were at our wits end. We transferred our son to DRA to salvage his youth and get him back on track. We had tried everything, but everything wasn't working. Some say the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over again hoping for a different result. We were not getting different results.

Misconception #1 - "I can't let go-it will be like admitting we failed as parents." You are not abandoning your child. You are turning your child over to experts for an average 10 month stay. DRA has taken in thousands of children like your own and they know how to handle tough teen situations. It takes great courage to make this decision. Rationalization will lead to poor outcomes. We feel like the best parents in the world now having made this decision, but at the time we didn't understand that reality. Have the courage!

Misconception #2 - "You can't get your child to DRA-if they don't want to go they will run". Parents do not have to transport their child. There are professional youth transport services that will help you get your child from your home to DRA. We feared that our son would simply say NO and not go. He's a big kid, and he might just win that battle. Further, if he even suspected this was coming, we feared he would run. Although our son went willingly to DRA, I have learned that approximately 60% do not. So, how do unwilling teens get transported? Consider this: when two very large ex-college football players show up in the middle of the night and say we can do this the easy way or the hard way, your teen will choose the easy way. I am told nearly 99% agree, although there may be some initial "I can't believe you would do this to me" outbursts. And, if they choose the hard way, you will find your transporters to be gentle and caring, and skilled at quickly befriending your child. They know how to put your teen at ease and diffuse what might be a difficult situation. We have used the transport service more than once for home visits. Out transporters told me they very rarely have a difficult transfer... they could count them on one hand and they've done hundreds.

Misconception #3 - "I know what's best for my child and I can salvage this situation on my own". Our only regret is that we didn't take advantage of DRA sooner. Perhaps our son would not have gone willingly (the juvenile court stay made him a convert), but even so, we endured an extra year of misery hoping things would get better. Teens are very smart and very manipulative. They will tell you what you want to hear, and before long you think it's two steps forward and one step back. Unfortunately, this just isn't the case for the vast majority of situations that plumb new lows on a weekly and monthly basis.

Misconception #4 - "This is so embarrassing. Why us? How did we draw this straw?" You didn't draw the short straw! We were willing to talk openly with friends, family, co-workers, and others about our situation. Much to our surprise, we learned that nearly every family has a similar story. The reality is that tens of thousands of teens every year need a program like DRA. DRA receives hundreds and often thousands of inquiries every month. One of the top reasons given for not following through after making the initial inquiry is the proverbial cold feet, and hoping for a better day. Hope is not a strategy! Having the courage to take a different path is a strategy. Don't worry-you are not alone.

There are many dimensions to this program. Some are explained well on the DRA web site, but some dimensions less so (presumably because it's hard to understand unless you get an extensive explanation). We'll attempt that brief explanation here. But let me first say that our son has now been at DRA for 8 months. He has had his ups and downs, and not everything is perfect, but in general he is happy and engaged. He lost freedoms most teens enjoy (e.g. A car, dating, cell phone use, restaurants with friends, etc). This is not how most teens define happiness! However, he says once he got accustomed to a healthy lifestyle, he obtained new found joy in preparing for a future that wasn't otherwise going to happen. And, he has that potential DRA state football championship in the meantime that keeps him motivated, along with graduating from high school a full semester early with a significantly improved GPA.

Academics - students are not allowed to advance past any test, quiz, or assignment unless they score 80% or better. Students learn that they might as well put in the work up front and do it right. Before long, study skills are learned.

Merit system - Students accumulate points daily for excellence in academics and in being a good citizen at the Ranch. If they accumulate enough points, they get to buy fun activities on Saturday. If they receive too many point deductions, they don't participate. It's black and white, and without exception. Students learn early that if they want to participate in hiking, movies, water skiing, etc., they must put in the work during the week. Further, if they accumulate a negative point balance during the week, they must work on Saturday to clear that balance. This has the double benefit of giving students a fresh start each week, but also to avoid the negative outcome and instead enjoy the positive outcome that a purchased activity brings. This is an extremely positive and important system. Most parents instinctively know it's the right system, but few implement it well at home.

Athletics - this is such an important part of DRA. My son arrived at DRA 160 pounds. Six months later he was 210 pounds and chiseled! How does this happen with lazy teens? First, the staff and coaches encouraged and motivated him to work out with them in the mornings before class. He often worked out every day. Further, the meals are balanced, not filled with the empty calories and sugars your child will find at the local convenience store. This prepared him for baseball and football and restored his confidence. The virtuous circle of confidence and results created more incentive each week. Further, since DRA is part of the Utah State HSAA and they play other schools throughout the state, game day has the excitement and feel of any other high school in America.

Perhaps your son or daughter isn't interested in sports. That's ok. There is something for everyone to do, and participation is broad based, as a participant or spectator.

Activities, Arts, Theater - DRA is well rounded. Your students will have ample opportunities to try new things. Study this dimension of the web site. It's real and substantial.

Therapy - Teens need strong mentoring. Growing up is not easy, and teens are at that crossroads thinking they know everything, yet in reality they know only what they know. These cross roads can result in collisions, and tens of thousands of teens every year need help to keep appropriate perspective as they transition from youth to adulthood. DRA has over a dozen therapists that deal with the variety of issues your teen might have, from addiction to defiance, anger management, to self image or relationship skill building. We participate in family therapy too, and it's helped us to significantly improve our relationship with our son. We went from complete despair and hatred towards us, to the point now where we talk, laugh, and have significant mutual respect for each other. We have our moments, but they are just moments now.

One issue I didn't think about until after our son was in the program was if being surrounded with teens with different problems was a negative. Having discussed this with him, I would say it isn't a big negative. Sure, the new kids are often less desirable to be around because they need to work through the issues that put them there, but the tenured students know just to give them that space until they work it out. In a way, it's a positive, because our Son sees how destructive the path of resistance is, versus a path of earned success that leads to confidence and a rebuilding of his self esteem. He gets to make that compare and contrast weekly, and that isn't all bad.

Governance - DRA is about family, and I mean that literally. The Dias family is deeply involved at the Ranch, and this includes siblings, parents, cousins, and in-laws. This is a great thing. This family is filled with role models, and your teens will soon learn to view them as mentors that care. At DRA this is a business, but first and foremost it is a labor of love. You can count on them to take great care to give your child a firm but fair, but more importantly, a solid experience that will make a difference in your child's life.

Our son did not take off the Summer of 2014 to have fun or start a new job. Rather, he worked at DRA every day on his school work, his mind, his body, and his attitude. In four to six weeks, he will graduate from the program, and graduate from high school a full semester early. A year ago, we were losing confidence he would complete high school. In two weeks, we will be looking for college housing together.

We know the transition back home won't be perfect, and we know our son won't make perfect choices. But, he's now 18 years old, and we have the confidence that he will stop, think, and make a different and/or better choices than he did these last few years. We would not be here if it weren't for DRA. Our wish for you is that you give your child the same chance, and that you have the courage to let go. It's a financial obligation to be certain, and it isn't nirvana, but do you know any teen that finds their current circumstances to be perfect? We don't know any. If you are on the fence, please let go, you are making a courageous choice!

One last thing. I mentioned how much confidence we had in our youth transport service. One evening, after bringing our son home for a weekend visit, I asked how many residential youth boarding schools they support. I was surprised to learn there are literally dozens of possibilities and they have transported to most schools. So, I asked them which was the best, and without hesitation they said Diamond Ranch Academy. Why? The Dias family invests in the facilities, and invest in the kids. They constantly work to evolve their program to be the best it can be. I took great comfort in this answer. After all, they see it all, and they would know.

And, finally (really-this is it), I'll leave you one last thought. I wish I had access to reviews like this that would have helped me make my decision. Perhaps I didn't look hard enough. Notwithstanding, our only motivation in writing this is to help you. We are grateful to DRA, but this review is for you, not them. Good luck.