Rebelheart X.

I want to elaborate on a review I wrote earlier. I left out some very important details. I've been working on healing with people who I DO trust & who've never abused or manipulated me or anyone else, and I feel ready to share this now. I feel obliged in many ways. I don't want anyone else to get hurt. I'm still recovering from the trauma of having gone to her retreat, twice. I've heard horror stories, now, about some of the other people who left her "school" and how she treated them.

I will preface this by saying, yes, I have done some things that weren't super becoming of me. I've made several mistakes. On account of the abuse I'd faced at her retreat coupled with a very strange phenomenon that took place this summer, where a very overwhelming amount of synchronicity occurred, I acted in what I could only describe as a fever dream-like state. Those who know, know. I have never hurt anyone, though.

There is a lot more that happened to me during the 2 retreats I went to, besides stuff I'd mentioned in my previous review.

First and most importantly... she violated me. She touched my genitalia and felt it up... she asked me "what is this?"... I am a biologically female, assigned female at birth, cis woman, but even if I were not, grabbing me there is not within her rights. She did not ask, she did not have me sign a waiver for this "energy healing"... she just grabbed me by the $#*!, Trump-style, and asked me what it was she had felt. I am athletic in build, but feminine... I imagine she felt the small layer of fat on my pubic bone and the toned muscle underneath and imagined she'd felt something else. This is the kind of woman Gaisheda is. Not only does she not see the truth energetically, she can grab a woman by her actual sex, and imagine it's a penis because that's what she wants to see. You may ask yourself why she wanted to see that in me. I'm guessing it has to do with the man who had my attention at the time being her family. He wouldn't be interested in me if I were transgendered, she must've figured. Either that or she was totally projecting his image onto me.

This was amongst the most traumatizing moments in my life. I do not think it's shameful for someone to be transgender. I can only imagine how I'd have felt during that experience if I were. Someone's gender is extremely personal. I am cisgender, but I felt absolutely humiliated... when did it become her business what was in my pants? If I were trans, to force someone "out of the closet" by grabbing their genitalia is absolutely horrendous behaviour in my eyes. To agree to an energy healing given by someone you trust, and have them grab your $#*! is pure degradation and a huge breach of trust. She didn't touch my shoulders or neck, where I carry my tension. I want people to know what they could be at risk for, if they see Gaisheda. She does not understand her actions are wrong. She proceeded to essentially force me to show up for dinner when I was sick to my stomach. I have survived rape on more than one account, by more than one person. I was sexually violated by my stepdad. My brother has raped women in front of me... but to have paid to be near this woman and trust her with my healing, to know she still goes to psychic fairs (aside from the ones where I live) and people pay for her readings and she is capable of doing this to people makes me want to vomit. As strange as I may be, I have never hurt anyone aside from self defence. I don't need to apologize for making mistakes or being a little wounded, myself, when I'm getting help... Gaisheda is playing the saviour while she needs help more than anyone else.

Secondly... she asked me "when I had my first psychotic break" and tried to convince me to bring evidence of my medical history in to her retreat. She implied I was psychotic. She also gave that as a requirement for hiring me to work in her garden, which is illegal. I have had 1 drug induced psychosis, years ago... I definitely was not a poster child for mental stability at the time I showed up to her retreat. I was depressed & I lived totally in 5d, as a means of escapism, and was very ungrounded. I have sought help. I am what people would call "a character", a divine oddball. A misfit. I do have quite a few close friends... but I'm always the "different" one in any group I find myself a part of. I am not and have never been psychotic. This was just more gaslighting on her part whether she was aware of it or not. I am not shy about my medical records or history, I just did not owe any of that to Gaisheda. I spent weeks in the hospital for one drug induced psychosis and was diagnosed with depression, bipolar & an eating disorder. I went back several times between suicide attempts and admitting myself for my own safety, and by the end of it, which was months before I saw her I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Since then, since going to therapy and meditating every day, I have met with the doctors and they've said I show no signs of any mental illness. Regardless, none of this was up to her to demand from me. She was so convinced I was psychotic that she wanted my medical records to prove it. I can assure anyone reading this, I've been diagnosed with many things (not all at once) but never as a psychopath and I've had one drug induced psychosis that lasted for a few weeks... I had a strange temporary insanity last summer around the time of this retreat because I could not handle all the stress and there was a very strange phenomenon of synchronicity, very Celestine Prophecy-like, taking place and the combination sent me into fantasy land. My friends, family, doctors, lightworkers, lawyer and therapist would all say that was the only time I ever did anything like that. Because it was. (Let's just say I became genuinely confused about what was 5d and what was 3d and became hopelessly devoted to the man I'd met in a feverish way, despite him not reciprocating my affections in 3d, just based on the ridiculous amount of signs... real, slapping me in the face signs, but aside from some social media craziness, there was no stalking or anything of the sort)

Third, she had accused me of channeling the man. She said I was invoking him (a living human being) and projecting him. I never once did that, despite some of the battiness that occurred online because I fell in puppy love, and was like a butterfly out of a cage for the 2nd time ever, I knew that doing that was not safe & wouldn't help him or myself... I did the opposite, if anything. I only spoke with him in 5d. I never did any spell work on him. I'd already feel him with me all the time. That made my life more difficult than anything. "Invoking" him was absolutely not on my agenda. Gaisheda did not want to believe that him & I mirrored each other, naturally. It offended me that she thought my personality, my looks, my story, my likes and dislikes were not my own. When I went to the psychic fair after the retreat, and I brought my mother one of the days, she stopped to talk with some ladies who'd commented on my outfit... I was dressed like a fairy. They said their kids would love me! My mom said "*my name* absolutely loves children and dogs, always has!" and at that, the ladies at Gaisheda's booth looked startled... they looked at each other and seemed to be at a loss. Imagine if I really was who I said I was?! Then Gaisheda really DIDN'T know everything! Perhaps she'd convinced them against their own unique traits too, and their whole world was collapsing. Who knows. I wasn't about to spy on them, like they did me.

There were several other nuances that also really bothered me... she laughed when I stubbed my toe, she seemed to think there was something wrong with me enjoying swimming, like I was supposed to just be miserable or something, she made little disapproving, mocking glances at her tribe when I'd say or do just about anything. There were a few ladies there that took the time to get to know me and they had nice things to say about me, but Gaisheda would call on them, in specific, for "private talks".

And lastly... her teachings are dangerous and detrimental to anyone truly wishing to understand the Divine, consciousness, enlightenment or anything really spiritual. What she was correct about was elementary. What she was wrong about was extremely misleading. She said things like "the inner child is evil, it wants! It desires!"... this can be so harmful to someone's healing journey. Your inner child wants to be reparented with unconditional love... wants to be held in times of sadness, is the unadulterated part of you. There are so many resources that explain the inner child impeccably. Gaisheda preaches on behalf of the very wounded inner and outer parent that she is. She said healthy energetic boundaries are right up close to your physical body, when our auric fields naturally expand far beyond the physical body & the physical realm. I believe this comes from her own sense of fear. There are no boundaries in 5d. All is one. In 3d, setting healthy personal boundaries and boundaries in relationships can prevent harm. But having your energy field closed right around your body isn't healthy. She said that the depth-psychology term "the shadow" is essentially a dirty word. Ironically she believes in shallow-psychology, but she does not believe in depth psychology &! That what's buried in the unconscious mind, collective and personal, can only be revealed with truth (that she reveres!). There's a lot she denies & seems to have 0 intentions of owning. This is the personal shadow. But hey, why own it when you can just lash out on people on account of your denial, and call that expression?

Gaisheda teaches with little to no education, formal or otherwise, on these topics. She states her personal opinions like they are facts in her teachings and her readings, and because her shadow owns her & she does not want to individuate her own shadow or own what she denies, she projects, like she accused me of doing. She projects as it serves her, from her own shadow. If she wants to build you up, you're a Priestess, you're unique, you're powerful, you're creative like her! If she wants to fear you down, you're crazy, you're delusional, you're a liar and you're projecting! She's intuitive, so she blends it with what she's energetically picking up from your auric field and she calls it "the truth". Like Carl Jung said, when you disown and deny parts of yourself in favour of a nicer reality, you end up projecting that disowned self on everyone around you. (This is why it's called the Shadow) and this is what Gaisheda does.

If you research the shadow, it will explain her behaviours. Shallow-psychology makes it very easy to put people in boxes and use them for your benefit... this is of use to Gaisheda, & I believe the reason why is because as long as she has her tribe singing her praises, she can diagnose everyone else, but her diagnosis would remain untouchable. If the same rules apply to everyone, Gaisheda is a psychopath. If she were to take part in understanding depth-psychology, not only would her career involve actually getting to know people without projection, she would also need to face her own shadow. And boy, does she have a lot that it serves her outwardly to deny.

And serving herself on a surface level is what she's about. Don't be fooled by her presence. Sure, she's cool looking and has a lot of natural leadership qualities. She's also dangerous. Stay away at all costs. Trust your gut. Go to anyone else for a reading at the psychic fair, but please don't go to her. If you do, I pray that she doesn't grab your genitals or insult you. If she does... please speak up. She needs to take accountability. She needs to be stopped.