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Joy S.

  • 2 Reviews
  • 18 Helpful Votes
  • 1 Thank You

Experience: Relationships

Member since September 2019

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2 Reviews by Joy

This site is worse than a regular dating site, because it combines the negatives of both online dating, along with the specific pitfalls of an STD dating site. This review is from a woman's viewpoint only, and one who is looking for a relationship, not a fling, or hookup. I'm sure men have a different perspective and experience. For the nice, emotionally healthy men out there, it may give you some insight into what women face, and why we sometimes react the way we do.

What struck me immediately is there are a limited number of local potential matches. The majority of members don't post pictures, some with good reasons. When I posted my pictures freely, I was bombarded with messages from across the country. It doesn't matter what qualities you list for your desired mate, very few people appear to read this, and will message you anyway. Then you waste your time trying to separate the normal from the perverts.

Some very nice men did message me. I felt they weren't compatible, lived too far from me, or I wasn't feeling it. When I first began dating, I learned the hard way that I shouldn't message back if I wasn't interested. It takes too long to message so many people back. I don't have that kind of time. I've also been cursed at, insulted, and some wouldn't take no for an answer, and continued to message. Let the blocking begin.

For both sexes, you run the risk of being "outed". Some can't post pictures due to occupational reasons. I'm sure just as on regular dating websites, many don't have pictures because they're cheating on significant others.

I chose to hide my pictures, unless I granted access, to limit the crazies. Of course, that doesn't work very well either. It's a no win situation. When I hid my pictures, I received very few inquiries. Not too many men are willing to message, even for a short time, until you feel comfortable enough to open your private photo album. I do understand some of their hesitation about wasting time with someone they don't find attractive, or fake profiles, but what good is a picture if you have nothing else in common, or don't like talking to each other? In "women think" if you can't invest a brief time of messaging, are you really good for the long haul? We live in the days of instant gratification.

As stated in many other reviews, when you take a chance and message someone who previously expressed interest in you, you often don't receive a reply. People will wink or like you, and add you as a favorite, yet when you message them, you received no response.

There are a limited number of physically attractive men on the site, and they appear to either be in high demand, or they're addicted to something, because they're on the site all day long. Seriously, whenever I log on to check messages, they're at the top of the list for activity date most of the time. How do you possibly have the time or energy for that? Or does this site falsely show someone as active when they're not?

Sometimes if you do receive a response, you reply, then a day or two later they will reply back. Yet, once again they're at the top of the list for activity date. Exactly how many people are you messaging at the same time? I surmise if someone can't spare a minute to reply, or say they're busy, and will message later, good communication skills are off the list, and it's a harbinger of how they'll treat you once in a relationship.

Now this one is universal to many dating sites. When the message exchange commences, you're inundated with messages for days, then the love bombing dwindles, with no explanation, until nada. Obviously, the dopamine high wore off with the chase, and you've moved on to the next fix. Put on your big boy pants, and have the decency to communicate that you're no longer interested. I'd normally encourage therapy, but it usually doesn't work with that breed of folk.

Let's not forget that the more weirdos you encounter, the more paranoid and distrustful you become. Then some rocket scientist will chastise you, and say that you're negative, and ask too many questions. It's called being safe! Talk to your female friends who have tried online dating, and they'll confirm that there are some very scary men out there. These are the men who make it difficult for the nice ones to overcome the damage. Both genders should ask questions. Oddly, this is a quality I've noticed across all dating sites. Most men do not ask questions. What good is a pretty face, if you're seeking a relationship, and you're not compatible?

Similar to what others state, if you're an unpaid member, you see a lot of winks, views, and likes. The minute you subscribe, that number decreases dramatically.

I made the mistake of answering the fun questions. After I did, I felt uncomfortable with strangers having access to that level of intimacy, and realized there isn't a way to delete your answers.

Ideally, I like to message for a short time to establish if there's mutual interest, and rule out the creepy and crazies, then meet ASAP. It doesn't have to be a full-fledged date. A short meet up is fine. If you're too busy for a date, why are you on a dating site? Simply state in your profile that you're looking for a message buddy or hook-up.

The statistics note how many people are out there with STDs. It is not represented on this site. Unless more people begin using it, don't limit yourself to an STD only website if that's your dating route. My impression is nice people sign up, then the long time regulars pounce on the fresh meat, until they get disgusted and leave too.

I had no say when my ex gave me herpes. He cheated on me and I paid the price. I've only dated one other person with it, the rest were STD free. I take meds, and don't have outbreaks. It's still difficult having that first conversation, and I have been told no. It hurts, but I do understand their fears. I'm saddened, because this site has great potential if it had a larger number of real members, people were genuine and honest, and perhaps less deception on the part of the site itself.

I miss the days when you could meet in person, and a man would ask for a date. Now we get message buddies, a lot of misunderstanding due to how easily it is to misinterpret each other with electronic communication, and no real human interaction. Glad to see our society is advancing.
Oh Lord, this site has already gotten to me, and it's been less than a week. This is a shout-out to the men in the 50 age group out there.

If you're married or in a relationship, save the little pads on your fingertips. As the meme goes, "Never underestimate my ability to find out $#*!." I will tell your wife or GF. Just get a divorce and some therapy. No, I don't want a threesome. See prior comment about therapy. I'm sure there are women out there who are into it, but I like and respect myself.

You don't have to be perfect, I actually prefer men who aren't gorgeous, because they tend to be too narcissistic. But please, if you haven't taken care of yourself, just don't. I'm not into watching a loved one take the express train to stroke or heart attack land, and that's where you're heading if you're overweight, don't exercise, or eat healthy. Plus, it just grosses me out.

If you send me a message that begins with, "I know you're not in my league, but", then you're correct. Grow a set, and stop with the passive-aggressive whining. Don't waste those two seconds of my life when I have to delete your message.

You're in Florida, and you think we're a match made in heaven? Did you lick lead paint off the walls as a child? Are you going to drive or fly to Virginia every weekend so we can spend some quality time together? I suspect some cousin love in your family bush.

You ask for my phone number 5 minutes into our first conversation? I suppose I should dish out my social security number, and bail out your Nigerian prince uncle too. Do I look like I just fell off the turnip truck?

Have the attention span of a gnat, and bailed because I didn't message you nonstop over the course of days? I work and have a life. I'm used to men acting like men. If you had just manned up and asked for a date, like the men of old used to do.

Your profile picture looks like something out of a wanted dead or alive poster, and you can't understand why I'm not messaging your back? Really?

Why aren't there any decent women out there, you and my platonic male friends ask? It's because we're home, emotionally dead inside, dinking wine and watching Netflix, so we don't have to deal with this crap. If I never have another date, this man-repellant rant was soooo worth it.

Joy Has Earned 18 Votes

Joy S.'s review of PositiveSingles earned 12 Very Helpful votes

Joy S.'s review of Zoosk earned 6 Very Helpful votes

Joy Has Received 1 Thank You

Jim S. thanked you for your review of PositiveSingles

“Joy: Thank you for your thoughtful review. Jim”

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