I don't think I've ever seen such a large gathering of completely deluded, misguided simpletons as I've seen compiled on this pathetic website. These people all think they're qualified to diagnose complete strangers over the internet.

And their reigning Delusion Queen, Sister Milkshake, is just a complete idiot. She's a large turd in a little bowl and actually thinks some people are jealous of her 'successful reconciliation.' LMAO! Her pig husband screwed around with a woman for 7+ years.

Let that soak in for a minute, folks. 7 YEARS.

He even admitted to her that the sex was hot (obviously - why else would he stick around for 7 years?) Not only did this pathetic loser take this low life cheater back, but she brags about how 'successful' her reconciliation is. I'm willing to bet her husband sees her for the pitiful Stage IV Clinger she actually is because he got to have his fun for 7 long years and she's STILL there, with her claws buried in him. So now he knows he can go out and have more fun because his desperate wife will be right there ready to take him back.

How on earth she can even look in the mirror and not cringe at the level of desperation she's sunk to is beyond me.

And THAT'S who you'll be getting your 'advice' from. She and her other long-time minions who have also sold their souls just to hold onto a cheater. These are people with just NO pride or self respect at all.

And as the others have already said, the mods are bunch of self-important douche canoes who act as though moderating that farce of a board is an honor bestowed upon them from on high. Yeah, as IF. Smh.

As long as you're willing to spew the same group-think nonsense to every BS who posts - and you don't DARE have a different opinion - the mods leave you alone. But God forbid you stray from the sheep-think mentality and dare to speak the truth - they can't handle it and will ban you.

Let me tell you something. Spend an hour or two reading the drivel these supposed 'reconciled' members on that board post on the Reconciliation Board. If they're not gnashing their teeth over just having found condoms in hubby's car or panicking over hidden texts they found on his SnapChat, then they're crying that their husbands still aren't making an effort towards them to make things better in their 'reconciliation.' They'll back pat each other and encourage each other to keep going because it will get 'better.' Good God. The delusion never ends.

If THAT'S reconciliation, then I choose death by dismemberment. Screw that.

My screen name was cobalt77. I was a betrayed girlfriend writing on the site for months. The site did give influence for me to end the toxic 2-year relationship I was in, although probably too soon, but not without ridiculing me, telling me I have no standards, and telling me o become not just single but a lonely sexless little person. Anytime I expressed a desire to date or have sex (which I was yearning to finally do now that I was free, as I had been in a sexless relationship with my wayward ex-boyfriend), they would shoot me down and tell me I needed psych therapy. Can you imagine, an adult actually wanting to have sex and eventually enter a relationship, marry, and start a family? They acted like I was too damaged to do these things, then wondered why I had such low self esteem. They were also hypocrites because so many of them were dating after their divorces or separations. I had "mad hatter" people condemning me for fantasizing about having revenge cheated on my wayward ex-boyfriend before he became my ex. Mad hatter = someone who cheated on their cheater/wayward spouse. Technically that is hypocritical. At least my revenge cheating fantasies were just thoughts and fantasies, fantasized AFTER I was already single, so obviously no way to act on those fantasies even if I wanted to. So many threads had people admitting their own "revenge affair" desires and others saying that it's a normal reaction for a betrayed to contemplate revenge cheating after D-day. Yet when I expressed my own revenge affair fantasies, I got the finger wagging and condemned as if I was a small child in trouble at school. Overall I felt belittled and talked down to like I was a child. Catwoman was the one I couldn't stand. She had an annoying way with words and always had some sort of condescending advice for me to spend a life full o' solitude, celibacy, and therapy, and frequently compared me to her younger daughters. Like she has room to talk; she stayed with a cheater through 10-20yrs of cheatings and 3 D-days before she finally left. I also experienced blame from her and others anytime I wrote about a man or past ex-boyfriend cheating on me or disrespecting me. Like I have control over men and how they choose to act, right. Every time I wrote about another dating life failure I experienced, I cringed at the idea of Catwoman finding my thread and having some advice confirming her embarrassingly low perception of me and my social skills. Lo and behold, she always seemed to find my lamenting threads and would comment on them even after I told her not to. During one such thread, she outright called me a "socially awkward loser liar". Funny how I got in trouble with site mods for my bitter snark to her, but she never got a smidgen of trouble for name calling. It seems Catwoman is one of the site favorites, in the same posse with Sister Milkshake and others. I felt embarrassed to even write about my problems anymore for fear of ridicule. I ended up banned after I snitched to a site mod about Catwoman name calling me. I can honestly say I feel no better about myself or my dating life problems after coming to this site. Still not sure why I got banned.

Whether you are the betrayed partner or the betrayor, infidelity packs a seriously traumatic emotional wallop that requires professional therapy and support. This site is not rooted in science; its not moderated by counselors and anything goes. Its a super-charged powder keg of raw emotion and opinions. The fact that divorcees are offering advice on how to save your marriage from destruction should be your first hint this site is bad news. Group think and anonymous bullying abounds. You either agree with what the group says or you get trounced. Dont dare challenge folks or call BS on their logic youll get banned. There are some high profile martyrs who think they know-it-all and viciously Attack others who are vulnerable and hurting. The site clearly has an anti-counselor/anti-faith bias. Theres a reason every LMFT, PCC, LISW and psychologist Ive talked to has warned me of the site. Sure, theres a handful of people who are genuinely caring and offer support. The vast majority of members, though, attempt to (unfairly and incorrectly) diagnose complete strangers with mental and personality disorders. They add to the trauma both partners are experiencing and offer seriously dangerous and damaging advice that no counselor would provide. When your marriage is on the brink, the worst thing you can do is detach emotionally and physically, yet that is the basis of the 180 mind control philosophy pushed by this site. Members openly encourage betrayed spouses to file divorce to play mind games and control their wayward spouse. They encourage ridiculously controlling and offensive actions such as polygraphs, infidelity funds and Post-nips. They freely offer legal opinions not understanding every state and country is different. Do yourself a favor and invest in a good affair recovery therapist. And Read Not Just Friends by Dr. Shirley Glass and How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair. You'll spare yourself heart-wrenching angst and min warping drama. What else do you expect from a group of loosely moderated, angry, bitter people empowered by anonymity? This isn't therapy. Its a scam for the site operators to make money off hurting people.

UPDATE: Well in case anyone had any doubts about the validity of my review and characterization of the types of attitudes and personalities at play on SurvivingInfidelity.com... along comes "Kate C." to attack me personally. That alone should speak volumes about the type of experience that awaits users on this site.

It's bad enough that members slander and attack completely anonymous strangers on SurvivingInfidelity.com, but to bring details to an unrelated, third party site is unconscionable. It says more about who you are as a person Kate than it does me.

The bottom line is this site is clearly not for everyone. We're all different and entitled to our own perspectives and opinions. Feelings are neither right nor wrong (unless you disagree with the majority on this site!) I agree with my LPCC: this site is full of angry, revenge-minded individuals and not worth the price of rent in your head. I can only speak from personal experience, but our struggles were actually more manageable BEFORE we discovered this site. Things have spiralled out of control since we stumbled upon the site. That's what happens when you leave something as important as your marriage in the hands of complete strangers.

BTW, Kate C. -- you should know, you're wrong about several assumptions you've made. But, this is EXACTLY the type of accusatory behavior one can expect from SI, where a group of anonymous strangers from across the globe insert themselves in everyone's personal business and somehow feel morally and ethically justified in making judgments about others. I'm A) NOT a therapist and B) I don't have any other accounts (Admin can easily block IP addresses). Here's some advice: mind your own business and take care of your own problems before you meddle in other people's lives!

I do, however, work in behavioral healthcare administration and find it irresponsible and despicable the way untrained individuals toss around diagnoses and labels such as narcissist, addict, family of origin issues, etc. Such malicious posts A) destroy individual credibility and B) reflects poorly on the character of the individual making such outrageous statements about complete strangers.

Kate C. - Your personal attack is pathetic and sad. You completely abused the purpose of this site to attack me. Look, I'm sorry you've experienced the pain of infidelity in your life. I can't even pretend to know your circumstances (and I'm smart enough not to assume I do) but, what I do know is this: infidelity is the single-most gut-wrenching experience for all parties involved. Kate, I hope you are able to find happiness and purpose in your own life. Our days here on earth are numbered and life is too short to be angry and upset at others. I still read comments on the site (you don't have to log in to see the forums you know) and it breaks my heart to see all the sadness and brokenness in the world. I'm sure every member wishes they could go back to better times. I know I do.

Kate: I hope you feel better after attacking me. Whatever it takes to find the pathway to healing and recovery. Be well.

Wow. Reading here makes me feel so much better. Just logged off, deleted my browser history and I'm done. I have found everything that everyone has posted here word for word to be true. Bitter betrayed spouses, check. Dangerous and sometimes illegal advice, check check. Condescension, check check check. I used to read everything I could from that site because it really did have great advice, at one time. This would be over 3 years ago at least. Now, it's a very small group of "veterans" that are stuck in the land of anger and rage and vomit that all over the site. Like others have posted, SisterMilkshake is a HUGE issue. She's all over every thread. Like another reviewer just posted, there was a new member whose husband had cheated on her but she had a different outlook than many. She was rational for one. She posted some really great posts. Intelligent, extremely well worded, very good advice calling out the attention w&*%$s there. She wasn't even on there a month. Got sick of the wayward bad betrayed good mentality. She even called out the "gently". That's epic. Members that use that don't mean it and it sounds so snotty. Solus Sto, again, like other posters stated, is awful. She used to be a really great resource at one time. She had posted some great stuff to me when I joined and was really hurting. I have no idea what has happened to her but she's bitter and posts just ridiculous stuff to waywards laying the blame for everything at their feet about anything the betrayed spouse is doing that is harmful and even dangerous. Cutting? Suicidal? Out of control? All the wayward fault. That's absurd. I was betrayed and I would be offended if someone treated me like I had no control. Over a man/woman? Seriously?

How does that logic even work? So nothing a betrayed spouse does is at all related to the wayward cheating no matter what it is but after the wayward cheats everything is now related to the wayward. All their fault. Forever. Ludicrous. Talk about blameshifting.

Stay far away from this site. Used to be great. Now really no more than a social network, just like other posters have said. Ben hit it. Deeply Scared is petty and not very bright. I know she's going through a health crises and hope the best for her but she and MH need to turn that site over to someone that can run it after getting rid of all mods and admins.

Just terrible. How sad.

Oh my goodness I could not agree with the other posts on here more. I joined SI about five years ago when my husband left me for another woman, I did receive a couple of beautifully supportive posts for which I am still grateful, I sought counselling and got on with building my life I was not going toilet my experience control me as devastating as it was.

Every now and then I would go back to see how others were doing and to see if there was anyone I could help and quickly became horrified to see the same old members wallowing and refusing to move on, it became evident that their partners infidelity became what defined them. Betrayed spouses talked about how they lost friends and were encouraged to get rid of them, they weren't real friends in the first place because YEARS later these real life friends and family believed it was time for the betrayed to move on and start building their lives. People are told that it's to be broken and low functioning five years after their partners infidelity, they are told it's ok to keep bringing the old issues up years later and if the wayward spouse gets upset they're not being supportive, it's ok to hate, stalk and try to destroy the affair partners life as they are broken, slutty, "cumdumpters" I believe is the favourite word.

The vitriol is disturbing, I don't remember it being like this in the past but it's a site of hatred now. Deeply Scared (DS) runs the site and is one of the most pathetic little characters I have ever had the misfortune to "meet" clearly exercising the one power she holds in her life. As one commentator said, she has replaced another man with this site as a away to bask in attention, interestingly she is ALL OVER the male posters on the site in the most sleazy manner, if a woman stands up to her she'll just ban them I really don't believe she's a "recovered" wayward at all.

There are members on there such as Sister Milkshake who YEARS later still spread hate and bitterness, sadly the influence of she and DS make the vulnerable think thats how they should feel, the collective damage is horrendous.

One of the most horrific things I read was a betrayed spouse who had "reconciled" with their spouse (in SI terms that just means you don't leave, not that you actually wok on building a better relationship and rebuilding your life) and years later carried such hatred for the woman her partner had an affair with that she set up an elaborate plan to destroy her.

She secretly set the woman up with a colleague and encouraged him to pretend to be in a loving relationship to the point that she is now selling her things and giving up her house in order to move in with this man who in actuality is about to move overseas leaving her homeless and possession less- this woman has a history if self harm and has children. The BW gleefully reports on the fact that he is getting free sex off this woman.

In addition to this she called child services in an attempt to have the woman lose her children, has tried to have the woman fired and has put naked photos of the woman in letter boxes on her street, sent them to the woman's family and other mothers at her children's sports teams.

This was all encouraged by members of the site, for me I was done.

Deeply Scared, if you read this it's time to stop. You are a bitter, broken person who is causing a great deal of damage, move on with your life.

To any other betrayed spouses, stay away from this site and don't let infidelity define you. Your life is worth so much more and there is real happiness waiting for you if you let it into your life - wallowing in bitterness, hatred and pain will not help.

So my feelings about SI have been terribly conflicted. I am a say it plain person, say it how i am seeing it. Well i rubbed people wrong there. Both DS and MH were very harsh and attacking me with a week account suspension for posting one too many times about my personal opinion on things and how it was not inline with the philosophy they have there...(I was advising divorce, and maybe a tougher love sort of approach, also SadinAZ was very passive aggressive in one of my threads and i called her out on it) I was in a VERY bad place with my Cheating husband at the moment because i found out he was cheating RIGHT before he left for many months and the week i was suspended was the week he was coming back and i panicked. I needed SI for the next days to follow but i felt they were chopping my hand off when i needed MAYBE a slap on the wrist. I reacted to (what i believe was HARSH punishment) They demanded i apologize to SadinAZ (who i believe is a part of the Collaborative circle jerk thing they got going at SI) I wouldn't apologize. As a result they banned me within min of the discussion. (COME IN, YOU ARE SAFE HERE) i thought i was safe to express myself, to have freedom to explain my point of view, but instead they dropped the ax, when i needed the community most. I believe the concept of SI is brilliant, but egotistical jerks moderate it and they like to keep their group small. Turntheothercheek HANDS DOWN the best person on that website was banned, for god knows what... I think she was too legendary for them. SI is insecure as $#*!. I have since found better long term home at Talkaboutmarriage, they are tough love. Much more varied opinion to cherry pick from. They say take what you can and leave the rest OFTEN at SI, but when they say the same opinion over and over its hard to PICK, and leave when there feels like little variety in the form of advise. TAM is much better in that respect and i am not fearful of banning for minor difference of opinion.