OMG. I cannot breathe I am so annoyed at the moment. Fedex, in the USA, runs like Swiss trains. On time, predictable, reliable. Here, they are the last choice I would make for posting something. If it hadn't been that it was a return, we wouldn't have used them because, as per usual, they don't show up and they tell porkies about there being nothing to collect/no one to sign for something...

In this instance, here's what happened: Husband purchased me a lovely item for Crimbo but the sizing was askew so it needed returning to swap for a slightly bigger size.

The shop uses Fedex for their free returns so we sorted everything out so that the pickup was scheduled for yesterday. The confirmation said between 8:00 -12:00. So we were waiting for a handover that NEVER happened.

When I called customer services at 13:15, I was informed that (brace yourselves) at 11:32 yesterday, the driver attempted collection BUT there was no parcel to collect. WRONG. LIE.

When I informed the agent that we have CCTV on our drive and at our front door and that no one but our postie had been ALL DAY, he hung up on me.

Online (rubbish system) I reorganised the pickup for today and under instructions put the following to try and dissuade the driver today from pulling the same shenanigans: "This is a private residence. We will be waiting to pass over the parcel so please knock on the door to collect parcel. This is a second attempt at collection. Please note that there is CCTV in operation."

Confirmation came through to say that the parcel would be collected between 12:00 - 18:00. At 14:00, I was a bit worried and I called customer services again. After a few seconds, I was transferred to what I somewhat suspect I got the same guy as yesterday.

CS-dude said that it was due to be collected and was still on track, so we waited. When it went dark, we left outside lights on. In the end, you won't be surprised to note that the package has NOT been collected.

We live in the North of England and our nearest drop-off location is 25 miles away. We will go to the Collect+ location tomorrow because another day waiting for someone to come collect, who ultimately won't, is just too impossible to contemplate. Fedex, you should be ashamed.

And, Fedex, I am happy to provide you with the tracking info so you can follow this up but I suspect you don't really care.