John S.

Another Update. Just got an email from Tony M that read: "Kasidie is fake you God damn stupid mother$#*!ing idiot! Someone paid you to falsely advertise Kasidie when it's a complete scam!". This fellow would appear to be a complete lunatic. For the record, in addition to the three couples with profiles on Kasidie that we personally know, we met, played with, and are now corresponding on Kasidie with a lovely couple at club Privata in Portland last Saturday. No Tony, it's not fake. The reasons that no one from Kasidie wants to meet you probably lie elsewhere.:)
Update: I'm in a relationship now and we've added a couples profile. As I suspected the site works much better for couples. My below review is still pertinent for single males but I'm upping the rating to five stars based on its value to couples and to balance at least one ridiculous one star review. People use porn stars for their profiles so you're not paying? Seriously dude? Ok everyone, take a look at the profiles on the site and tell me if you think these folks are porn stars. Sheesh. As far as the other negative reviews, one is from a guy that appears to have an issue with the owner. I don't know if what he says is true but it has nothing to do with the performance of the site which is pretty darned good for a swinger site. The other folks complained that you have to have a certification from another member to be able to view private sections of profiles. This is true and that feature is a little peculiar. However I personally feel it's also a good way to keep out the curious but not serious (see below) who are just interested in seeing what their neighbors are up to. While it's an accurate criticism and a fair opinion, basing a one star review on it seems a bit harsh to me.

The members are real (a number are friends of ours) and pleasant. As far as the statement that this is essentially a social networking site for swingers? Yes it is. Isn't that what it claims to be?

My original single male review follows:

I have been a member of Kasidie for about four months. In a perfect world I would rate them three stars but, in relative terms, they are pretty good for a lifestyle site. The people are clearly real (I know three couples on here personally) and they are friendly. I have never connected with anyone for a date but I have had several responses to people who were not interested in me but either said no thanks (you can't ask for more folks and frankly that level of politeness is rare in the lifestyle) or helpfully answered a question I had. The few people I have chatted with in the chat rooms were very friendly.

The site is based in Las Vegas and would appear to be THE SITE if you live in Nevada or Colorado where most of their members seem to live. They also seem to have a lot of members in California. I have a single male profile on the site and have been thinking of switching to a couples profile with my lifestyle "partner in pleasure" (on other sites we have a couples profile and each have a single profile). The reason being that this site appears to cater largely to couples. As far as the "Dollar store shoppers" critique I find that bizarre because, if anything, I would say Kasidie members tend a little to much to the "beautiful people" demographic for me.

This site has a couple of features that I really like. First is the travel section where you can post trips you are taking. I really wish it was utilized more but I have still used it a couple of times. The wall posting is not terribly original, but the posts from groups you belong to and friends does keep things interesting. The feature I really like is that there is a standard private photos and notes section that is visible to all paid members but not to free members. I'm at a point in the lifestyle where I'm still discreet but not really concerned at all about being outed by actual lifestyle people. My concern is with posers who sign up with a fake profile just for prurient interest to see what the naughty neighbors are up to. I'm not really concerned that these clowns will actually pony up for a membership. I can post a face pic here and tell people what small town I actually live in rather than explaining later when I contact them why my profile lists a false and much larger home town. I think that feature gets it just right.

I will definitely give this site some more time. That may sound like faint praise but I'm afraid it's really saying something for a lifestyle site.

I belonged to this site as a free member for a couple of months. It wasn't terrible and I believe you get what you pay for in lifestyle sites. I did communicate with two members that seemed real but were not a fit. That's actually positive. On some sites no one responds to even thoughtful emails. The main reason I didn't pay up was the relatively small number of members in my region (Pacific Northwest).

So why the one star review? Take a look at the first nineteen reviews. Between February 6,2014 and September 7 2015 there were three, count 'em, three reviews. Two were one star reviews. Then, miraculously, between September 10,2015 and September 24,2015 they got 16 reviews, and fifteen were five stars! The other glowing review was four stars. Guess they didn't want to look too obvious. LOL. Can say summer intern? What a pathetic and transparent spate of fakery.

Update. I changed my review to five stars from four for two reasons: First, to balance some of the one star reviews, many of which I think are unfair and some of which are suspect. Second, this is hands down the best swinger site I know of as far as community and actually meeting people which is why, hello!, I'm interested in a friggin' swinger's site in the first place. I will say, if you are a tech savvy person, and that's important to you, this site will probably drive you bat sh#t crazy. Many of the critiques on here about technical glitches are fair and accurate.

I do think many the poor reviews on here are fake. Take a look at all the helpful votes some of the bad reviews get. Even the one that is so badly misspelled as to be gibberish got eight helpful votes. Yeah, right. I think this is frankly people with an agenda or who had a bad experience that are trying IMO to slam the company. I also clearly recognize one critique as written by an SLS forum poster that no one in the forums, and I mean literally no one, can stand. He even used the same name.

No, it's not a perfect site. But I have met many couples from the site that are very real. While web sites are not the only way I meet people in the lifestyle, SLS is, lately, the only website where I have made any dates. To be fair I have also chatted with numerous people who are obvious fakes or flakes. Welcome to "the lifestyle" folks. I find the forums very useful and friendly. Yes there are trolls there but generally they are kept in check by the community. If you have a serious question, and you aren't offensive in the way you ask it, you will get a sincere and thoughtful answer.

There are definitely some odd quirks. They have used filters for their chat rooms that are laughably inaccurate. They automatically block website names but get much weirder. For example to limit incest and pedophile chat they once banned words like son and daughter. So someone, for example, with the name Christenson couldn't even use their name! They fixed that but it did earn them some ridicule from members.

One other quirk is that they use lifetime members rather than staff to review profiles. This leads to some inconsistency. The comment in one review here about race preference being prohibited in profiles, while completely false, may stem from this inconsistency. There are in fact many people who say things in their profile like "Sorry fellas but we're not interested in black men. Just her preference". Just as often you will see women seeking "BBC" and not a few who are exclusively interested in African American men. That review is simply wrong on that point.

Their messenger system is absolutely terrible. I was actually suspended temporarily for encouraging people to chat on Yahoo because the messenger works so much better there. They said this violated their TOS by "promoting another website". I didn't really see it that way but I complied and they reinstated me. People are also banished from the forums to limbo from time to time for being nasty. The inconsistent nature of this is a bit comical but the long term forum community laughs it off. Clearly though the nonexistent customer service comments are also not true, at least as far as abuse complaints.

On balance I don't know of a better site in terms of actual real members, relative expense, and number of overall members giving you some local choices. Consequently I'm rating them high based on an apples to apples comparison. I would love to hear of a better site if there is one. I will agree with the reviewer who suggests that someone may one day eat their lunch by creating a really good swinger site.

I'm not sure if many of the reviewers on here have reasonable expectations about the swinging lifestyle. But AFF has some real weak points alright.

First the strong points:
It has a lot of members.
It has some very hot member videos, most of which are real (so what, right?)
It has enough members that there are some regional chat rooms.

The weak points (you'll notice this list is much longer):
It's expensive.
It was bought by penthouse a couple of years ago and really went downhill.
The silver membership is no longer available. Just gold (expensive) and free (useless). Most of the members are now free which seems to be the company's business plan (advertising). I suspect that many of the bad reviews came from free members. It's a fact of life that people looking for serious meets are not going to be interested in people who won't pay for a membership (ie, They expect you to buy some nice clothes and wear them. Buy a razor and use it. Buy some gas to come and meet them. Maybe buy a round of drinks and at least go Dutch on a decent hotel room. If you won't pony up for a website membership you're probably not a good bet. Notice that I'm not suggesting this site is necessarily worth the price but this applies to any dating site)
The forums on AFF are useless and full of trolls bordering on sociopaths.
There are less and less members who are real enough to even respond to emails with a "no thanks". In fact I haven't had a single email returned in over four months.
All this said I have never gotten a bot email on AFF as someone here complained. There are some obvious commercially minded "sweet young things" but they get weeded out quickly by management. Compare this to Craigslist where I am one for two on bots responding to emails. There are fakes and flakes a plenty to be sure (welcome to "the lifestyle"). If your serious about sex dating you will get a sixth sense about this or give up.

I have met a few real and nice people on AFF but none in over a year. I won't be renewing my membership in August and frankly I can't recommend it. It's too bad really.

I would suggest Swinglifestyle as an alternate and am open for suggestions as to better sites. Any meaningfully better site would have to have enough members in mu local area code that there are a few good possible matches. That's a tall order and something that takes time to build, as AFF has managed to do.