Jeff R.

Welcome to The Moronic Inferno (and thanks to Martin Amis for coining a phrase that appropriately applies to this site)!

There appear to be fewer foreign prostitutes and scammers here than on OKCupid; however, what lurks on this site is often more bizarre and, ultimately, rather depressing. Nevertheless, hindsight - which is truly a wonderful thing - tells me this was a fascinating, if ultimately dismal, social experiment,

I joined this site for 30 days. My first encounter - or series of pleasurable encounters - was with a forty-something Home Counties single mother with a seriously dysfunctional home life and desire for long-term financial support from a potential partner. To be fair, she wasn't dishonest about her desire for monetary sustenance; however, this meant that we were ships that passed in the night (or, to be more accurate, in the afternoon, and in several restaurants and bedrooms).

Her tale of woe from this site was instructive and, I believe, enlightening. It transpired that she had only spent around twelve hours on it; and which meant I was rather fortunate to experience the brief but undeniably enjoyable time I spent with her.

During the half-day she had fished for plenty (although as she had set up her profile before going to bed, she had actually spent little time on the site), her profile was visited by several gentlemen, many of whom thoughtfully sent her photographs of their genitalia. One particularly charming gentleman was even considerate enough to send her a close-up photograph of a big toe poking out of a hole in a sock; and she hadn't even expressed a preference for foot fetishism. Unsurprisingly, all of this was enough to make her deactivate her profile within hours.

Aside from the often sad parade of angry, bitter, self-loathing, passive-aggressive or narcissistic profiles written by people who could fill psychiatrists offices until Hell freezes over and which, in some instances, suggest they should not be allowed to handle sharp implements or, given some of the profile photographs, dress themselves, I had two even more dispiriting experiences that hastened my path to profile termination.

One woman - who seemed genuinely interesting and witty from her profile summary - insisted on regularly phoning me, only to subsequently make feeble and apologetic excuses for terminating our conversations after a couple of minutes (on one occasion, she claimed it was because her lodger returned home early; however, I strongly suspect it was her husband). She phoned every couple of days, repeating a pattern which I fear would have continued to this day if our telephonic correspondence not not (thankfully) ceased.

My second strange experience - and the one which led directly to me deleting my profile - involved a woman who claimed she wanted to meet, and also that she was interested in obtaining employment in the industry I have worked in for many years. Having established that my primary function in this exchange was to be that of an employment agency, I felt it only reasonable to offer a fair price for my strong contacts list (£500, if you're curious) and forego the undoubtedly dubious pleasure of meeting in person.

Reader, she took to the hills - and so should you if you have any pride, self-respect or self-worth!

OKPeople, OKCupid is, based on my experience, essentially an online brothel and its offering should be changed to the international escort service it more closely resembles. However, if you want to be contacted by hookers or scammers using fake profiles, then fill your boots and sign up!

Now, if you have a few moments, here's a heads-up on how it worked - or, rather, didn't - for me.

The fake profiles are generally, but not exclusively, those with a too good to be true head shot or saucy 'come hither' poses (You don't REALLY expect to find catwalk-ready supermodels or buffed Fabio types on a site like this - and don't flatter yourself into thinking that if they were really there they'd be making a beeline for you).

The fake profile will include an often occasionally grammatically incorrect and possibly generic-sounding 'About Me' type statement. However, be warned that the scammers' grammar has improved so that such statements no longer resemble those of Nigerian internet fraudsters (that's what a partial education does, I guess).

So, cut and paste these statements into Google, hit return and Bingo!: 'Katie' from Kent is also Larissa from Lithuania or Petra from Petrovsk on other dating sites. Surprised? Don't be as it's depressing but true that fraudsters - along with the rest of society's flotsam and jetsam - are floating around ready to attach themselves to the unwary on this site.

Avoid it like syphilis - unless you want to contract a dose and probably have your bank account drained at the same time (and that's the only thing that will get drained, guys!). To sum up, the only person likely to get screwed here is you - and not in a pleasurable way.